M's Christmas Joke...

What did Adam say on the night before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

Tonight In The Tub...

I noticed I had a really bad blister on one of my toes, but it turned out to just be a blob of shaving cream. So, don't worry. I'm just fine.

Children's Choir...

Well, we wrapped it up last weekend. The concert was amazing and our choir received more applause than anyone else did (go us!). It was such a worthwhile and wonderful experience that I have already agreed to be the assistant director when rehearsals start up again this January. Hopefully it won't be as crazy without a Christmas Concert to rehearse for. Anyway, I'm so glad I got involved because it was one of the best things I did this year!

(And I got gifts from the kids, including a gift card to Cold Stone which Sparkle and I already used. We went right after the last concert:)

(Also, M totally rocked when he got up to sing. He knew all the motions and was totally adorable!!!)

What M Just Said...

"Now I know what the inside of a horse looks like."

Happy Birthday Z!

Today is Z's birthday. My "baby" is officially 3. My, it goes fast...

My In-Box...

I just cleaned out my in-box of 852 unread messages. I really need more time or less spam.

Did You Know...

Irving Berlin wrote "White Christmas" while sitting beside the Casablanca Pool at the Biltmore Hotel in Phoenix, AZ. Of course, it was the middle of summer which could explain why he sung so fondly of snow...

Z Keeps Running Around Singing...

We wish me a Merry Birthday. We wish me a Merry Birthday. We wish me a Merry Birthday. And a Happy Three Year!

Bobble Head Santa Candle Gift...

Thank you for thinking of us, but that thing is kinda creepy...

(Plus it don't really smell that great either.)

Hey, Hobbitsister...

Those gifts you carefully removed the batteries from so that they wouldn't go off in the mail??? They have an on/off switch:)

*I'll wrap them as soon as I can get Chris to stop playing with them:P

Just So You Know...

I turned the heat on today, but don't worry. I'm sure I'll turn it back off tomorrow:)

Hey Stallion...

What's a girl gotta do to get her man to bake her a few Christmas cookies??? :)

For The Record...

Okay, I typed a long post here, but have deleted it because it sounded bitter and I don't want to be bitter, especially not this time of year. So, for the record, I am choosing to just let it go.

I Commented...

on your blogs, but I just randomly selected posts to comment on. I'm trying:)

Monday Philosophy...

My new Monday Philosophy is "What can go wrong will go wrong and all at the same time!" God bless the man who invented Advil.

M Just Informed Us...

that he wants a sled for Christmas. Now really, what is he gonna do with that?

Things The Kids Have Said Today...

M: "H! Give me back my pants!"
Z: "Here, H. You can have my pants."

M: "H is sitting on my feet and licking my toes."
Z: "I want to lick M's toes!"

Today Z...

locked himself into the bathroom. I managed to get him out, but then discovered that he had locked and closed every door in the house. Chris had to drive home to jimmy the locks so I could get into the bedrooms. Sigh...

Nothing Puts You In The Holiday Mood Like... (part two)

Attempting to untangle a dusty, artificial tree that has spent the last year stuffed into a giant plastic bag.

Nothing Puts You In The Holiday Mood Like... (part one)

Cutting out millions of green tissue paper squares for hundreds of children to glue onto paper plates during Sunday school.

If You Give A Toddler A Pudding Cup...

You'd best be prepared to give him a bath and a new outfit as well.

(Its not your fault, H. Aunt Busy should have remembered your issues with silverware:)

Hey, Hobbitsister...

Did you put out your Christmas dishes yet? Mine went out last week:)

M-ism's...

"When my sneeze and yawn had a race my sneeze came in first."

M: When are you going to get a job mom?
Dad: Mom's job is being a mom and its the hardest job there is.
M: No, I'm pretty sure that construction worker is the hardest job there is.

"If tomorrow were yesterday then I would have already gone to school and I could sleep in tomorrow."

"Find a penny pick it up and all day long I'll have good luck!" Walks into pole while looking at penny. "Stupid Penny!!!! I should have left you on the ground!!!"

Hurricane Z...

Tonight while M was at a birthday party I let Z take a bath all by himself. I was in my room folding laundry. When I checked on him 15 minutes later (the bathroom door was open so I could hear him if he needed me) I discovered him THROWING BUCKETS of water onto the floor. There was 3 inches of standing water and I, quite frankly, did not know how to handle it! I was at a complete loss! How do you clean up that much water??? Finally I just threw down every towel we owned which were immediately soaked through and dripping. So I am now doing 3 loads of towels tonight, but the bathroom floor is SPARKLING:) (I also said another prayer for all those people in New Orleans. If I can't handle 3 inches in a contained area I can't imagine how they coped at all.)


*Post-script: I am very sorry I laughed during Hurricane Erma. What goes around comes around, right hobbitsister?? :P

Why I Will Always Love My Mom...

When I was 11 I baked a cake all by myself. It was terrible! I mixed up the granulated sugar and the confectioners sugar and then I dyed the icing this weird shade of green-blue. My mom cut herself a big piece and told me that I did a great job for my first time. Then every day after that she would sneak into the kitchen and cut a small piece off the cake and hide it in the trashcan. I didn't know until well into adulthood that she had done that, but when I found out I smiled:)

*Funny side-note: My older sister tried the cake, as well, but decided it was gross. But then when she saw that someone else was "eating" it, she kept trying it to see if it was better than she thought it was. It wasn't.

Anyone Want To Remind Me...

what it's like to actually have a life??? I just can't seem to remember these days:P Miss you all! Will try to catch up this week...

Crash Central...

There were 36 accidents to report at 4:15 today. It took so long to do the accident report that the poor guy reading it had to stop for a second to catch his breath. Oddly, none of them were anywhere near where I was driving. Thank heavens for small favors:)

Juice War...

I just had to wrestle a juice box away from Z. And I do mean wrestle. We were rolling around on the ground. Now he is in time-out for humiliating mommy. (I did get the juice box back, though.) He is very, very 2 right now.

What's In A Name...

No offense, but would you really want your loved ones funeral organized by the Rude Family Mortuary?

Children's Choir Update...

We had 15 kids (a very manageable number) who were all fairly talented and all WORSHIPPING! It was so great! Not only that, but at the end of the night we had a parent volunteer to assist us EVERY THURSDAY! God is so great!!!!

Chris's Appointment...

Well, his test results were back below normal range, so the outcome is that they are calling him "cured" and will just re-run the tests yearly to keep an eye on things. All good news and we are very relieved. Thanks for all the prayers!

Small Church Within a Large Church...

Our church has approximately 4000 members from various areas surrounding it. (We live in Mesa, but our church is in Gilbert.) So our Elder board developed a way for us to have "small churches" within our large church. We meet together for corporate worship and Sunday school. We have women's activities, men's activities and children's activities as a body, as well as quarterly gatherings for our entire church body. (We have 4 services, so we don't always see the people from the 4:00 service, but we unite with them at other events.) On top of that our church is organized into 5 different "area groups". Each area has its own pastor and its own small groups, bible studies, playgroups, etc. So, if I was hospitalized and we needed help with childcare or meals we would contact our area pastor who has his own team of people who are not only available to meet our needs, but already in our area. Chris's weekly bible study is with men in our area and we have playgroups with the same families. We can make a greater impact on our neighbors by forming fellowships within our area. It would be harder for me to invite a non-christian friend to drive 20 minutes for a play date than it is to meet at the park up by our house with other Christians who live in this area. It makes a lot of sense to us, but the thing that makes me happiest about it is that our head pastor is still available to us. He has his own email that only he reads and he responds to each one. But on the other hand, our area pastor knows us and our needs and is paid simply to minister to them. I really feel like it is a win-win situation for everyone. I hope this makes sense. I really love our church and the way it is run, so I really want to do it justice:)

That Explains Everything...

"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads. So, I'm not fat I'm just really intelligent and my head couldn't hold anymore so it started filling up the rest of me."

-Garfield

Hair Stuff...

Men were polled about female hair color and this is what the results showed.

*Blondes are viewed as friendly, carefree and youthful.
*Brunettes are viewed as stable and self-sufficient.
*Redheads are viewed as fiery and independent.
*Women with gray hair are viewed as formal and sophisticated.
*Most men prefer brunettes.
*79% of men think redheads are "intelligent".
*76% of those polled believe that our first female president will be a brunette.

Dove Wrappers Are Scary...

My dove wrapper said, "Wow! You look great in red." and I was wearing a red shirt! Scary...

Childbirth...

One of the people we teach Sunday school with, who I will be calling Tex, mentioned that his cousin is the lead singer of Mercy Me. Do you know the first thing I asked him when he told me this??? Seriously, what I was thinking I just don't know, but I asked him if his cousins wife had actually given birth on her kitchen floor. She did.

Children's Choir...

I heard talk that they were starting a children's choir at our church. I called the woman who is in charge and offered to help. She called today and said that all her other helpers backed out, so it is just her and I, which means that I will have to be available every Thursday night for the next three months. I am excited about the choir, but less excited about cramming one more thing into my schedule. Oh well, should still be fun, right? :)

Birthday Parties...

M has been invited to 4 different birthday parties in the last two months. I'm glad he has a lot of friends, but this is getting expensive! (Not only the gift part, but the fact that two of them were about 45 minutes away!) I hope no one else he knows is turning 7 anytime soon.

Okay, Let's Hear It...

Yesterday after drama M said something super funny happened. He said it made everyone laugh, even the teacher. When I asked him to tell me about it he said, "Oh, you wouldn't think it was funny because it has to do with underpants." I didn't press the issue.

Chris's Appointment...

Today was Chris's appointment with the urologist. Their is good news and bad news. (Mostly just frustrating news.) The cancer marker he scored high on is the most dangerous of all the markers, however that does not necessarily mean that the cancer is back. The doctor said the x-ray was clear and he felt no tumors, but their could still be cancerous cells. So they re-ran the blood work today and did a CT scan. He has a follow-up appointment on October 5th. If the CT scan is clear and the blood work is normal he will see the doctor again in 6 months. However, if the blood work is still elevated then they will begin chemotherapy. Preventative chemo sounds drastic, but the way I understood it if we wait until we can "see" something it might be too late to treat it before it spreads. Chris has seminoma and unless it has a tumor (which he had last time) it is hard to see it before it is too late. The decision will be made on October 5th, but I think we have pretty much decided that if the marker is high we will do the chemo "just in case". Thank you for your prayers. Please pray for patience as we begin another waiting game.

Lifesavers...

I used to love lifesavers commercials. My two favorites:

Little boy proposes to little girl using a lifesaver as an engagement ring. The commercial ends with the little boy telling his "fiance", "Don't worry. We'll live with my mother."

Daddy and little girl are sitting watching a beautiful sunset with the dad saying, "Going. Going. Gone." as the sun sets. Then the little girl stages whispers, "Do it again, daddy!"

So cute. I would probably buy more lifesavers if they would just put those kind of commercials back on TV.

Best 50 Cents I Ever Spent...

I found a Bangles Greatest Hits tape at Goodwill. Great investment, really. But then we got in the car yesterday and M said in an undertone to Z, "I bet mom makes us listen to the Bangles again. Sigh." So I, being such a thoughtful and wonderful mother, did indeed make them listen to the Bangles. Walk Like An Egyptian...

One Of My Favorite Quotes...

"Truly you have a dizzying intellect."

-Wesley, The Princess Bride

My Stripper Name...

Fantasia Glitterjugs. I love name generators:)

Would You Rather...

This post contains some minor spoilers concerning Jurassic Park 3, but I doubt anyone will really care that much.

Okay, we watched Jurassic Park 3 the other night (on TV, so it was edited). Now I have decided that I would rather be eaten by the spiny dinosaur than pecked to death by the pterodactyls. However, as I informed my husband, if I ever disappear over the island do not bother to come looking for me. I will have already drowned myself in a noble attempt to spare the searchers lives. (That and I think it would be a nicer death than being eaten by a dinosaur.)

Telephone Tales...

One time "the stallion" was installing an additional phone line in our home and I didn't know and I called him from work and every time the phone rang he got zapped with electricity. True story.

Birthday Wishes...

According to my calendar it is Hobbitsister's birthday today, however to be perfectly honest I had it written in on the incorrect day for like 3 years. So it is either today (I'm pretty sure) or tomorrow (when I won't have time to post anyway). Happy Birthday, dear friend. I hope you like your gift (which is still sitting on my dresser, but will be put in the mail this morning *blush*). Have a wonderful, relaxing and fun-filled celebration of you! :D

My Son, the Thief...

Today M informed us that the milk he bought at school was "free". When I asked him why he replied, "Well, their wasn't anyone at the table to pay, so I figured out it was free." I told him that next time he should let his teacher know he needs to pay for his milk, but I didn't have the heart to tell him that he sorta stole it. He just would've taken it so hard. :( I should probably let the school know that we owe them 35 cents, though.

We Saw Scout Today...

Today at the play land, Z was playing with a little girl who looked EXACTLY like Scout did during her "Mister Chris Loves Me" year. We ("The Stallion" and I) were both wiping away tears and laughing as we fondly recalled those days. Much love to you both, Erma and Scout. And thank you, hobbitsister and Enrique, for sharing your beautiful children with us!

Wii Fun...

Last night I babysat for HR'sMom and they let me try out their Wii. Now we are planning a Wii Sleepover where we will be putting our children to bed so that us grown-ups can play Wii all night long. I am almost as excited as "The Stallion" and his boys are:D

I Have Decided...

that I will now be referring to Chris as "The Stallion" in all my posts for no other reason than it will make him laugh.

Words No Mom Likes To Hear...

"MOM! The toilet won't flush!"

Nothin' Says Lovin'...

like revealing your unfaithfulness to your spouse on the Maury Povich show.

To Enrique...

I am very sorry I did not have more faith in you. You were very nice to take hobbitsister to such a nice restaurant. I hope she shaved her legs for you. Keep up the good work!

HRSMOM Just Made M's Day...

Thank you, dearest SIL, for calling M to see if he was feeling better. He was so excited that someone called just to talk to him. We love you!

I Almost Shot Milk Out of My Nose...

Today on the way home I bought the boys each a carton of milk.

M: That's weird. This milk looks different than the milk at school, but its made by the same guy.
Me: What guy?
M: The milk guy. He made both of the milks.
Me: How do you know?
M: His name was on both cartons.
Me: What's his name?
M: Mr. Shakewell.

(Give it a second...it'll come to you:D)

Chris's Appointments...

He has an X-Ray on the fourth and an appointment with a specialist on the 20th. So its just a waiting game until then. So frustrating...

If You Give a Z a Sandwich...

If you give a Z a sandwich he will probably take the top off to see what kind it is. Then he will ask you if you have any mustard. You will go to the fridge, locate the mustard and take it to him. When you offer to put it on his sandwich he will remind you that he doesn't like mustard. So you will go back and put the mustard away. As soon as you are as far from the refrigerator as possible he will suddenly remember that he wants a glass of milk. You will pour him the milk and take it to him. Looking at the milk will remind him that their is strawberry syrup in the cupboard. He will probably want you to flavor his milk. Once you've made his strawberry milk he will most likely remember he is in the mood for white milk. You will tell him that he has to drink the strawberry milk first and he will probably cry about it for a while. Crying salty tears will remind him that he wanted some chips. You will have to show him every bag of chips in the house at least 3 times before he will decide to just have crackers. You bring him some crackers to eat, but he will probably not want those crackers and end up "accidentally" throwing them onto the floor. When you remind him that if he doesn't settle down and eat his lunch he will be removed from the table, he will suddenly remember that he is hungry. He will probably ask for something to eat. And, chances are, if he asks for something to eat, he will want anything but the sandwich you've already made.

Did You Know...

I am a HUGE Nickelback fan. Oh, and M loves Sheryl Crow.

(Nickelback was recently here in concert, but I didn't go. Mostly because a stay-at-home mommy of two would have looked REALLY out of place there.)

Our Little Secret...

Every Friday we drop M off at his homeschooler's program. Then Z and I go to McDonald's for a hash brown and play at the play land. Don't tell:D

Post Office...

I just had to stand in line at the post office for 20 minutes with a 2 1/2 year old to pick up a certified letter from Chris's company that contained nothing more than an HR update. Sigh.

Air Freshener...

Today Z was playing in the living room and M was working at his desk. M wandered into the kitchen and told me his room smelled "funky" and asked if he could spray it with air freshener. I told him sure and he headed back to his room. As he passed through the living room Z called after him, "Don't freshen up my trains, please!"

GREAT NEWS...

Tigger has been resurrected! Turns out he has an off switch that was simply in the wrong position. Now I am suddenly reminded of how precious life is and how really annoying that toy is!

RIP...

Chris just informed me that "Tigger is dead. I thought all he needed was a AAA bypass, but sadly Tigger has bought the farm and gone to that bouncing graveyard in the sky." Rest In Peace, Dear Bouncing Friend. TTFN.

Baby Wipes...

Huggies Green Tea and Cucumber baby wipes almost make changing diapers a pleasant experience. Almost.

Speaking of diaper changes...

The following conversation took place as I was changing Z this morning.

M: It stinks in here.
Me: Tell me about it.
M: Okay. Z's diaper is stinking up the joint. End of discussion.

Thought for the Day...

If God had a refrigerator your picture would be on it.

*I told M this and he immediately asked if the pictures he drew for God would be on it, too. I told him yes:)

M Watched Spy Kids Today...

M: Mom, are you cool enough to be a spy?
Me: Nope.
M: Ya. That's what I thought.

Why I Love Posting...

Chelley was recently saying that sometimes we speak without thinking, but posting gives us a chance to think about what we are saying. For example, today I almost posted something to someones blog that I realized might have sounded insensitive instead of amusing, so I didn't. I think my friendships would all be healthier if I could read what I'm about to say before I actually say it.

Pillow Fighting...

Tonight while we were having a pillow fight Chris did the Matrix bring it on hand thing. It was funny.

Chocolate For Breakfast...

Yesterday Chris told Z that he could not have a chocolate granola bar for breakfast. Then he proceeded to feed him 5 bowls of cocoa puffs. Go figure.

Yeah! My SIL Started a Blog...

You can visit her at The Monkey House.

Yes, It Was All True...

The "brown-bread" story was true, word for word. It actually happened which is why it isn't really that funny to me. But now my family is passing it around again and laughing "with" me. So, I'm glad everyone is re-enjoying it, but I seriously haven't made brown bread since that day, but thanks to all this talk about it I have a severe craving. I will have to wait until Monday when H comes back to make it:D

(H was the 7 month old in the story:)

Please Pray...

Chris had what was supposed to be his last cancer check yesterday. It has been almost 5 years exactly since the diagnosis and this was to be his "completely cured" appointment. However, one of his markers was high, so he is being referred to a specialist. It is probably nothing to worry about, but it is so frustrating because we have to wait for more test results to know for certain. Please pray for patience and good health. Thanks in advance.

Speaking of My Soft-Spokeness...

One time Chris and I were at a party and the host asked each couple to go around and introduce themselves. He said that the quieter of the two should do the talking and the other member of the couple should keep their mouths shut. Then everyone looked at me like, you know she's gonna talk. It was embarrassing. And, yes, I'm pretty sure when our turn came around I did say a little something, but come on, everyone was obviously looking forward to hearing from me:D

Cause of Death...

Z told us somebody "died of chocolate on his face" today. He'll probably write for CSI when he grows up.

Guess What...

H came back today. He will be here on Mondays. He was so excited to see the boys and they were so excited to see him. They just played and loved on each other the whole time he was here. We are so glad he's back.

If I Met A Genie...

Everyday M has a "question of the day". Today's question was "If you met a genie, what would you wish for?" M's answer? "More friends and freedom for the genie." Isn't that a beautiful wish for a six-year-old to make?

I Told My SIL To Start A Blog...

Now lets just hope she listens:D

GGGRRRR...

If my six-year-old says "underpants" one more time today I will probably go insane.

My Husband's New (Annoying) Habit...

Lately whenever I ask my husband anything he responds with "if by that you meant" and then adds something I SO didn't mean. For example: "Chris, would you like some strawberries?" "If by strawberries you mean (insert something I SO didn't mean) then yes, I would." He says he is thinking about writing for a sitcom someday and needs the practice. Sigh.

(Truthfully, I can't wait to see what he posts on this one...)

Today At Sunday School Volunteer Training...

The leader said I was too soft-spoken. Anyone who's ever met me in person care to comment on that one???

More Solitaire...

Good news on the solitaire front. Chris showed me how to delete my statistics and start over. So although I lost the record of my 275 consecutive wins, I still have a perfect record. So, yeah for me! (and Chris:D)

Does It Bother Anyone Else...

When people participate in polls and mark the "I have no opinion on this topic" box? Why participate in the poll if you have no opinion on this topic??? I mean, really, people. Either get an opinion or just don't vote.

Speaking of New Cars...

M: "The next time we need a new car can we get a Zamboni?"

Not to confuse anyone...

But did you know that Z is actually short for I? M started referring to I as Z when I was little. I really prefer I, but Z was so cute it just stuck. However, now Z is referring to himself as I and M has started to refer to him as I, but for some reason I just keep calling him Z. I guess I will just have to work on calling him I instead of Z. Otherwise it could get really confusing around here.

Chocolate or Vanilla...

Three words you should never hear when ordering a Wendy's Frosty. It is just wrong.

All Of Your Blogs Are Now In My Favorites...

Just thought you'd like to know:)

The Debate Continues...

The Big Debate: Should Matthew M. put on a shirt?

http://entimg.msn.com/i/ExperienceData/p1-8/us/x.htm?sh=TheBigDebateV2&ep=season2b&g=4c0341f9-765b-4769-b4e4-91166e5e4bae&GT1=10338

Don't forget to vote. (I voted "Put on a shirt, please!", but so far I'm in the minority.)

*Please note: This clip is not really that interesting, but having blogged about Matt's nakedness last month I felt that I should post this as a follow-up.

I thought of you today Hobbitsister...

when my 2-year-old was scarfing spaghetti at lunch. It was pretty gross.

M's 1st Day of School...

During a discussion of the First Inauguration.

Me: It took 14 days for George Washington to travel from Virginia to New York. Today we could do that in a few hours by taking a plane. What do you think he used to travel?

M: A car?

Me: No. The car hadn't been invented yet.

M: Had they invented pants?

Me: Uh...yes.

M: Oh. So he was wearing pants then?

Me: I guess so.

M: Okay. That's good to hear.

I Think Windows Must Be Male...

Whenever I type things in windows it pops up "corrections". I then have to go back and fix it, while it continues to insist that that was what I wanted to do in the first place (it wasn't). So I have decided that my version of windows is definitely male. It always thinks it knows what I want, but it is seldom right simply because it isn't really paying attention to me and my needs. (For the record, I am not frustrated at my husband, just at my computer:P)

I will post more and catch up on your posts just as soon as I get M started back to school. It is really crazy here right now:D

I Think I Misunderstood You...

Z just pulled his shirt up and said, "I have sausage in my pants."

(Turns out he was trying to tell us that his tummy was full of veggie sausage, it just took him awhile to get there:D.)

Naomi Watts Delivery... (Warning...kinda preachy...)

Naomi Watts had her baby, so congratulations to her and Liev Schrieber. That isn't really why I am posting, though. In the press release I read it contained the following statement. A source says, "Naomi was planning on giving birth next week - her due date was early August - but since she insisted on delivering naturally, she knew there was a chance she would have the baby before the due date. That's what wound up happening. "

Two Things...

1. You can't really plan when your baby is coming, unless you are scheduled to induce.
2. INSISTED ON DELIVERY NATURALLY!?!?! Why should she have to insist on that? I mean, drugs aside, isn't your baby coming when it is ready and healthy what every woman should want?

I recently read that the average time a woman will carry a baby has been lowered from 40 weeks to 38 weeks, due solely to the number of women who insist on being induced to fit their schedule. This has also lowered the average birth weight, because babies are being born so much sooner. I am not trying to be preachy or anything. It just strikes me as kind of sad that we (as a society) seem to be so concerned with our own schedule. I assure you that once that baby comes, your schedule is out the window.

(Just to clarify...I had a scheduled C-Section with Z due to the complications I had when I delivered M. I was 38 weeks, but I had an ultrasound the week before to make certain he was healthy enough to born. I have numerous friends and acquaintances who have induced their babies just so they could make the most of their maternity leave, which I understand to a point, but still, it bothers me.)

Happy Birthday Kevin...

You are one of the hottest 48 year old's I know. Seriously.

I Went on a Date Last Night...

We went out for sushi and then saw Harry Potter OTP. It was very nice.

The Jello Story (Or Why My Marriage Almost Ended After Only 2 Years)...

Hobbitsister and Enrique invited us over for dinner and when I asked if I could bring something Hobbitsister said, "jello". (Which is kind of like hobbitsister's SIL asking her to bring rice krispies treats.) Anyway, I tried to make jello, but it didn't work. So I went to the store to buy jello, then I put it in a dish to take to hobbitsisters. The only kind of jello they had was this weird stuff with some kind of canned fruit in it and it was like $7.00 a pound and I needed 2 pounds to fill the dish. I spent almost $15.00 on jello. When my husband found out (on the way to hobbitsisters house) he went totally nuts. (Unreasonably so, if you ask me.) So we get to H and E's fighting and we were going to drive around the block to finish, but they were outside and saw us. So Chris makes an excuse and leaves. Hobbitsister realizes we're fighting and thoughtfully asks if I want to talk about it, but since that would mean telling her I didn't actually make the jello I decided not to. We made up when Chris got back (totally G-rated, we were at someone elses house you know!) and had a lovely evening and a delicious dinner at which hobbitsister completely forgot to serve the jello. So H sent home the ENTIRE thing of jello, which was HORRIBLE and I spent the next week choking it down to prove a point to my husband. (I think the point I was trying to prove is that I will eat anything to prove a point.) Anyway, Hobbitsister called the next day and I told her the whole story and we still laugh about it. 'Cept not Chris, so much, since he is still upset that I spent $15.00 we didn't have on jello nobody in their right mind would eat.

Please Stay Away From My Son Meliliot...

"He didn't say it with authority"!?!?!?!? Honestly...

Well, Isn't My Face Red...

Chris: "Who is practically perfect in every way?"

(Simultaneously)
Mom: "Mary Poppins."
M: "God."
(I guess we're both right:)

Is it just me...

or have my posts been going on and on and on and on and on and...

Harry Potter...

This post may contain possible spoilers, but I don't think so since I haven't read the book. I guess it just depends on what your view of a "spoiler" is.

That much being said, Chris is sitting on the couch reading the last chapter of Harry Potter and crying. (Okay, not so much crying as sighing and sniffing, but that is close enough.) Which means that when I get to that chapter I will be bawling my eyes out. Which means that I will have to wait until I can read the end of the book when the children aren't hovering, asking me why I'm crying. Which means I will never get to read the end of the book. Sigh...

Oh, and props to my husband for putting down his book mid-chapter to play a game with M. (A game he invented, so you know how "fun" it was for grown-ups.) He also gets props for putting it down the other night when I interrupted him, but it is none of your business why;)

At Dinner Last Night...

Z carefully peeled the skin off his baked potato while muttering under his breath, "I not eating potato paper. I don't like potato paper."

I Want to be a Bear...

My SIL sent me this email today and I thought I'd share with you!

Gonna Be A Bear

In this life I am a woman. In the next life I'd like to come back as a bear. When your a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate you are supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

When you are a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you are a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too. I could deal with that.

If your a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, I'm gonna be a bear.

Kevin Spacey...

He was a great Lex Luther, even though I personally thought that Superman Returns stank up the joint. Maybe if we email him lots of love letters he will come back to us. Or, if that doesn't work, I could always corner him in a men's room...

Brown Water...

Z is really learning his colors well. Today he handed Chris his blanket and pacifier (na-na) while Chris was sitting on the couch drinking a beer. He wandered off, but then turned around and yelled, "HEY! Don't put my na-na in you brown water!" (For the record, I'm am almost 100% positive that Z will still be able to pass a breathalyzer test. Chris wouldn't even give me a sip of his beer.)

Why I Nag...

8:30am
Mom: M, go get dressed, please.

8:35am
Mom: M, go get dressed, please.

8:45am
Mom: M, GO GET DRESSED NOW!

M: I heard you the first time.

Mom: Then why didn't you do it?

M: I was going to, but you didn't give me enough time to obey.

10:30am
Mom: M, please take your toys off the table.

11:00am
Mom: M, I asked you to take your toys off the table. Did you hear me?

M: Yes.

Mom: I gave you 30 minutes to obey. When were you planning to get around to it?

M: When you told me to again.

West Side Story (Possible Spoilers)...

When Chris and I were first married we would go down to the video store on our day off (Tuesday, oddly) and rent a movie. We would take turns each week picking. On the weeks Chris would get to choose I would sit through a terrible movie (see recent posting on his blog), a stupid movie (Catch Me If You Can) or a total guy flick (Judge Dread). On my weeks to choose Chris would fall asleep (League of Their Own, While You Were Sleeping, Murder in the First, etc. etc.) or tune it out completely, which brings me to West Side Story. We rented WSS on video, which means there were two tapes because the movie was so long. We watch the first tape, Chris barely hiding his boredom. When the first tape ends (dramatically, I might add, with Maria's brother having been killed and her laying down with Tony) Chris gets up and puts in another tape. Only after the movie started did I realize that he had not put in the next tape, but a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MOVIE! So I said, "there's another tape, you know." And he says, "No, I didn't know. Lets just watch this one since its already playing and we will watch the other tape before the movie is due back." Needless to say, he has never seen the second tape and has no idea how the movie ends. Oh, he thinks he knows how it ends, but he doesn't. I really think his life has been less blessed for not having seen this movie in its entirety, but maybe that just me.

The UPS Guy...

With most of my family out of state we get a lot of UPS packages, so we are on a first name basis with our local UPS driver. Today we were at the Taco Bell down the street when he stopped in for lunch. Z got really excited and started waving and yelling "hi". Then Z says, "write your name mommy. Its from my Grammy!" over and over and I realized he was excited because he thought we had a package. I tried to explain it to him, but he just wasn't getting it. I guess the UPS guy felt bad, though, because he gave him one of his cinnamon twists. So now Z keeps running around yelling, "Grammy send me cinnamon twists! Grammy send me cinnamon twists!" So I am dedicating this to our local UPS Driver who, to quote my older son, rocks:D

I have this solitaire game...

that I have never lost. I have played over 250 times and my statistics are still 100% positive. Granted, the game is mostly skill and isn't very difficult, but still, I was proud of the fact that I had never lost. About 3 weeks ago the cards were dealt out in such a way that it is impossible to win, no matter what you do. There are simply no moves to make. Here is the pathetic part. Instead of starting a new game I saved that game and have not played since. That used to be one of my favorite things to do to unwind, but I can't bear to lose, even if it is through no fault of my own. Thinking on it I realized that it was really nice to have at least one thing in my life be 100% positive since so much of life...well...isn't. Anyway, I still haven't made myself go in and start a new game, but maybe one of these days I will just accept that perfection isn't all its cracked up to be. Still, it was nice while it lasted...

Guess What Chelley...

I took a Harry Potter quiz and I got every single question right! I am such a Harry Potter Wiz;P (Chris only missed one so he gets props, too:)

In Honor of Mel and Hobbitsister...

We had ice-cream sundaes for breakfast:)

Chris's Blog...

Chris started a blog, but its pretty much just him and me arguing. So if you liked "Mad About You" then you can check it out.

My Children Were Actually Fighting...

over which one of them is Thing One and which is Thing Two. M thinks he is Thing One because he was born first. Z thinks he should be Thing One because M wants to be. I guess we should probably stop referring to them as Thing One and Thing Two (even if it is fitting most of the time).

My Marathon Training...

has unfortunately been put on hold. I tore the meniscus in my knee in a roller-blade related accident. The good news is that it doesn't require surgery. The bad news is that it does require weeks of physical therapy and I am not able to jog or lift until after I get the okay. I had moved up to jogging 7 miles, but now I have to start all over. I am hoping that I will still be able to run in January. I am just planning to do the half-marathon this year and do the full one next year. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Concerning Weight Problems...

I have struggled with my weight ever since I hit puberty due to numerous medical problems. I have never really fad dieted, but I like to read about them:) I am a devoted Weight Watcher member and still swear by it. I have accepted the fact that I may never be a size 8 or even a 10, but I eat healthy and exercise fanatically. I am actually in better shape than a lot of "smaller" women who don't jog 6 miles a day, do yoga 4 times a week and lift weight 3 times a week (told you I was a fanatic). I have been training to run in my first marathon in January (more on that later) and I am happy with the progress I have made. Now, can someone please tell me why ANYONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would take that new weight loss drug to lose that extra 15 pounds!?!?!? Have you heard about the side effects which include dehydration and oily diarrhea? Why would you do that to yourself to lose 15 POUNDS!?!?!? Can anyone explain this to me, 'cause I just don't get it!

The Disturbing Damon Dream...

Okay, I finally have a few minutes to myself to type this out. When M was 18 months old I had this dream that he and Chris were killed in a car accident. If that wasn't disturbing enough, in my dream I met Matt Damon shortly after they had died and we became "friends". Then (in my dream) God spoke to me and told me that he had led Matt into my life so that I could lead him to Christ. There are so many reasons why this dream was disturbing that I just can't explain them all, but the worst thing was that it made me feel guilty. Almost like I wanted to get rid of Chris and M and date Matt Damon! Anyway, I told hobbitsister and a half-hour later she was swearing to people that I had tried to convert Matt Damon by trapping him in a men's room, stripping naked and telling him he couldn't leave until he repented his sins! (That SO didn't happen!) The point is, hobbitsister is a good friend to have because every time you start to over analyze anything she makes you realize how stupid you are being without actually saying, "you are being really stupid!". (Although, I am fairly certain she has said that to me once or twice, but in her defense I was probably being really, really stupid and it needed to be said.) So even if hobbitsister tells people lies about my relationship with Matt Damon (which is purely fictional:) I still love her lots and miss her like crazy. BUT PLEASE NOTE...the Chippendale's thing was COMPLETELY her idea, even if she told her husband otherwise...

My Husband Is Such A Nerd Sometimes...

Me: "What are you eating?"

Chris: "Circular crackers and Swiss cheese quadrilaterals."

(Luckily for him I find nerdiness a very attractive quality...)

Chris has started calling Z...

Bugsy McStink-Foot. Don't ask.

Today I Actually Said To My Children...

"Will you two please stop doing things that are gross!?!?!?!?!"

Simpson's Quote That Made Me LOL...

"There is no air in space!"

"What!?!?! But there's an air in space museum!"

More Three Good Things...

One of Chris's good things tonight was that I wore my hair in pigtails today. I'm starting to think he might have a thing for the Swiss Miss lady...

Just Venting...

I hate it when I wake up to a filthy kitchen because some unnamed person didn't do the dishes and didn't let me know so I could do them. But what I hate more is when said person leaves dirty dishes in a sink full of water so that first thing in the morning I have to plunge my hands into cold, disgusting water. It is just yucky...

The T-Mobil commercial that reminds me of Meliliot...

Okay, you see these kids texting to each other and then you see them take over a grocery store to have cart races. Also, there's one where the meet on opposite sides of the escalator and have a silly string fight. In other tech news...today we saw two girls sitting across from one another at the same table having lunch. They both had their laptops on and they were...here's the part I don't get...looking at each others my space page! I mean, they were actually close enough to communicate IN PERSON and they were posting to one another instead. How sad is that really?!?!?

(Did you know that spellcheck says that "texting" isn't a real word? Go figure...)

Guess what I gave my family for dinner...

A box of wheat thins, a container of laughing cow Swiss cheese and apple wedges. I am so unbelievably lazy today!

The PG13 Matt Damon Story...

Ben Afleck was on some talk show and said that he had been out to dinner with Matt and that Matt had left the table to use the men's room and come back looking "pale and uncomfortable". It turns out some girl had followed him into the men's room, stripped off all her clothing and "offered her body" to him. Ben said he asked Matt what he did and he said, "I refused politely and left the men's room without peeing." Anyway...that is the PG13 story that hobbitsister is referring to. As for the Matt Damon dream I had...it will have to wait until I have more time to do it justice;P.

I got hit on today...

At first I thought he was just making conversation while I paid my bill, but then he told me he was getting off in an hour and invited me to join him for happy hour. Needless to say, my kids and husband were not with me at the time. (Also, Chris said I couldn't go...even after I pointed out that drinks are half-price during happy hour! Some people...)

I smiled today...

when the 50-something-year-old nurse that was checking me in told me I'd have to take off all my bling before the MRI.

I wish we had some...

leftover frosting to put on these cookies.

Cookies...

My husband baked me chocolate chip cookies while I was out on my walk. He even timed it so the last batch would be ready right after I got home. I ate 5 of them. I will be eating 2 more before bed. (Please note that he measures his cookies with a one tablespoon scoop, so I did not eat 7 cookies, only 7 Tbsp.)

The Matt Damon Dream...

Okay, so Chelley posted this clip of Matt Damon doing his Matthew M. impression and I remembered this dream I had about him. It upset me soooo much that I told hobbitsister who had me cracking up about 5 minutes later. Seriously, we were both laughing our heads off while Erma and Scout chased M around the McDonalds playland. Aren't friends great??? I mean, I was really upset, but you just stepped in and made me laugh at myself and Matt Damon, hobbitsister. You are a great friend! (And for the record this dream was G rated. I just want to see if hobbitsister remembers it;P.)

Does anyone else wish...

Matthew McConaughey would put on a shirt? I mean, what is with that? Does he have sensitive nipples or something? I'm as human as the next girl and even I am tired of seeing his naked chest on the cover of every magazine in the checkout line.

Frosting...

I just caught my husband frosting the tiny cookies in one of those hundred calorie packs. I'm pretty sure this ups the calories, but maybe not. Then he very thoughtfully offered to frost the saltines I was eating. (I declined.) This is why it is better to just eat the leftover frosting so the temptation to put it on everything just isn't there.

Mental Note...

Never again suggest to two-year-old that he go color a picture while he is eating a crayon shaped Popsicle.

Hershey...

We took the children to Hershey Theme Park and Chocolate World a couple of weeks ago. They had a wonderful time...especially Z who still asks daily to go to the "chocolate factory". The other day I bought the kids those Hershey Snacksters and Z was so excited! He calls them "chocolate factory snack". Oh, and forget Disneyland being the happiest place on earth. When you get off the rides at Hershey they hand you CHOCOLATE! How could anything be better than that?!?!?!

PS To determine which rides you can go on they measure the kids before they go into the park. Z was a Hershey Miniature and M was a Peanut Butter Cup. The biggest kids are Jolly Ranchers. Cute, isn't it???

A Book of Coupons...

M and I just read a book about a teacher that gives his students coupons on the first day of school so that they can be late to class or skip a homework assignment, that kind of thing. Yesterday we spent the morning making coupons. I made a book for dad and M made a book for himself. He has already used the "play checkers" coupon and the "go swimming" coupon. He is saving the "stay in your pajamas all day" coupon for a the exact right moment. Chris hasn't used any of his, but if he is smart he will save the "COUPON FOR ONE BIG SMILE" for the next time we argue:) M even made me a special coupon good for "crying for no reason". I'm saving it for the perfect moment. Anyway, I loved the idea so much that I am making him a book for school. Also, I gave him back the "play checkers" coupon this morning...he won:)

One More Reason My Family Rocks...

We can all use chop-sticks. Even the 2 year old.

Three Good Things...

Every night at dinner my family plays "three good things". We each take a turn and share three good things that happened to us that day. Anyway, last night both my sons and my husband listed "mom made a great dinner" as one of their good things. Its so nice to be appreciated.

PS One of my good things was that I got to talk to hobbitsister...it was good to catch up a bit:)

Sorry, I've been crazy busy...

but anyway, I'm back now. I will try to do better:)

Evolution...

Tonight at M's kindergarten graduation one of the Sunday school teachers told a cute story.

A teacher was teaching her class evolution. "Tommy," she said, "what do you see out the window?" Tommy looked and answered, "A tree." "And what do you see under the tree," she prompted. "The grass," he answered. "Now go outside and look up and tell us what you saw." So Tommy went out, looked up and returned to the classroom. "I saw the sky," he said. "Did you see God?" she asked. "No," said Tommy. "That is because God doesn't exist," she concluded.

A little girl stood up then and asked the teacher if she could ask Tommy some questions. "Tommy," she asked, "Can you still see the tree?" He nodded and then she asked, "Tommy, can you still see the grass and the sky?" "Yes," he told her. "Tommy," she asked, "Can you see our teacher?" "Yes." "Well, can you see our teachers brain?" "No," he said. She summed this up quite simply. "Then according to what we have been taught here today we can only conclude that our teacher has no brain."

(And for the record I did cry at M's graduation, but I laughed harder when our pastor asked the all the graduates what they were planning to do with the rest of their lives:)

It's Hot...

It's 104 degrees today and it is only the second week in May! (I'm really only posting this so those of you who have dealt with terrible weather all winter while I wore shorts can laugh at me...)

Why I Cleaned The Bathroom This Morning...

Me: What is that stench coming from the boys bathroom?
Husband: Bad aim.

M's Breakfast Prayer...

"Dear Jesus. Thank you that today is my birthday and I am six. Thank you for making it my birthday that I have been waiting for all year. Thank you that I am six today. Bless this food to my body and thank you again that today is my birthday and that today I am six. Amen."

(In case you didn't guess, M turned six today:)

Concerning Hooters...

We pass a Hooters restaurant on the way to M's school. Today he read the sign and asked what it was. I told him it was a restaurant and he asked we didn't ever go there. I told him it wasn't really appropriate because of what the waitresses wear and he asked (very seriously, I might add), "Why? Do they wear owl costumes?" Yes, M, they wear owl costumes and all those men just go there for the hot wings...

The Smores Maker...

Today we were making smores on our smores maker and Z turns to M and says (LOUDLY), "There's the fire, M, now use it!"

New and Improved Trix...

M got a box of "new shape" Trix. He said they taste "way better" than old shape Trix and I told him Auntie Hobbitsister agreed with him. He said, "Auntie eats Trix? Doesn't she know that Trix is for kids?" (He's so very witty!)

The Taylor Swift Story...

Taylor Swift is a new country singer (she sings that Tim McGraw song). She is only 17 years old, but very talented. Anyway, my brother-in-law got tickets to take my sister to see her perform, but she ended up having to work. Their 8 year old (my nephew) loves her, so he took him instead. On the way to the concert they were in a HORRIBLE car accident. While they were waiting for the ambulance to come my nephew asked if they were still going to see Taylor Swift and when he heard they couldn't he was absolutely crushed. So after all was said and done my brother-in-law sent an email to her fan-site (or something like that) with the whole story and pictures of the van and asked if she would send him an autograph. Taylor Swift actually called him on the phone to talk to him and then offered him free tickets to a show she was giving in a nearby town. He was so excited because she told him she would let him go inside the tour-bus and backstage. I haven't had a chance to talk to him yet, but I'm guessing it was an experience he won't soon forget. So I am now officially a die-hard Taylor Swift fan, because there aren't a lot of "stars" out there who would have actually called him to thank him for being their fan. Its nice to know that unlike some people (cough, brittany spears, cough) success hasn't gone to her head. (Or shaved her head, either...)

I want a vacation...

I have decided that I want to go on vacation with my husband. Let me define "vacation" for you. I want to go somewhere where a wake-up call does not involve poopy diapers. I want to fall asleep on my husbands chest and not wake up face to face with a child. I want to spend a few days not having to use the phrases, "stop fighting with your brother", "Watch where your peeing!" and "WHAT THE HECK IS THAT SMELL???". I want to go somewhere where dressing for dinner does not mean trying to force your two-year-old to wear pants at the table. I want after-dinner entertainment to involve more than a rousing game of "what made that spot on the carpet?". I want to be able to kiss my husband passionately without hearing my five-year-old gag. I want to spontaneously get "friendly" without having to check the closet first to make sure no one is using it for hide-and-seek. I want the phrase, "get back in that bed" to have an entirely different meaning. But mostly I just want a few days where someone else cooks my meals, makes my bed, does the dishes and scrubs the toilet without complaint. Does anyone know of a resort that can provide all that with no notice and very little cost to me???

The Lotion Episode...

Z went into our room and took the cap off a lotion bottle and then methodically squeezed a ton of lotion all over the lid. When we found the mess we did the typical parent thing and confronted him with it. Chris pointed at it and said "What is this?!?!" and Z quite calmly told him, "It's a birthday cake!" We reminded him not to do it again, but didn't really punish him 'cause that was just too cute.

Every Flavor Beans...

My grandmother LOVES those Jelly-Belly jelly beans that come in the compartmentalized box so each flavor has its own space. The other day at Borders I found a box of "Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans" from Harry Potter in box just like the Jelly-Belly ones. So, do you think it would be a good idea to pick her up a box for her birthday this year or not? I mean the every flavor beans come with booger flavor and sardine flavor and vomit flavor and grass flavor and so on and so forth. I'm just wondering if she isn't a little tired of the same old flavors we send every year. This would defiantly spice things up, so to speak.

My Heron...

I jog on a walking path that runs along the open canal behind our home. The canal is filled with ducks and fish and a great big heron. I love that bird, it is really beautiful, but it is also HUGE! It is also usually timid and maintains at least a 5-7 foot distance between itself and people. I say usually because tonight while I was jogging that stupid bird was sitting in the middle of the path and WOULD NOT MOVE! I know it is silly, but I was afraid to go around it because it is really big and I don't want something that big, with that long of a beak anywhere near me. So, instead, I made a complete jerk of myself yelling at it, stomping at it and waving my arms at it. It just stood there and looked at me until I finally moved as far to the right of it as I could and sprinted past. When I looked back it was still just standing there, so I am, apparently, not that threatening. All I know is that I didn't want to be known as the first woman to die of a heron attack.

Confusing Conversation...

We went to Sweet Tomatoes for lunch today. (It is a huge salad bar and soup place and one of our favorites.) While I was in line to get soup the lady in front of me asked if I had tried the chili, which has ground beef in it. I casually told her no and that I was a vegetarian and she looked at me and said, "It's low-fat you know," in this sarcastic voice. What?!?!? I don't not eat meat to lose weight, it's just a personal choice and it isn't like I said she was a bad person for eating meat (what do I care if other people eat meat?). Was she just mad that I wouldn't try the chili? I am just so confused...

What!?!?!...

Z just walked up to me, pointed at his shorts and said, "Look mommy. I'm wearing pants." before wandering off to play again. Seriously, what was his point???

Fortune Cookies...

I had one the other day and the fortune seriously said, "Your creative ideas will reap many rewards." As opposed to my dumb ideas that lead to catastrophe??? Who writes these things? Please tell me that someone does not actually get paid for that!?!?! So I have decided to write my own fortunes. Here are a few I would like to find in my cookie. (Feel free to play along!)

1. Wow! You look great! Have you lost weight?

2. Bring this fortune with you next time and enjoy complimentary child-care while you and your husband enjoy a quiet meal together.

3. By reading this fortune you will no longer need to count the calories you consumed at this meal!

And my personal favorite...

4. PHEW! I was starting to think I would be trapped in that cookie forever.

(I know, I crack me up, too :P)

My Pregnant Menards Story...

Okay, I am telling this only because so many people have requested it (okay, one person), not because I still have a personal vendetta against Menards. When I was 2 months pregnant (my first pregnancy) I was sent on an errand to Menards to buy cedar mulch for my parents garden. I went to Menards where three different people sent me to three different places before finally telling me that all I had to do was pay for it and then drive around to the lumber yard. (If you have never been to the lumber yard section I would recommend avoiding it at all costs.) So anyway, I pay for the mulch and drive around to the lumber yard where I am informed that they did not give me the right paperwork so I had to go back inside to customer service. They corrected the problem, blew off my complaints and sent me back to the lumberyard. I drive back around to the lumber yard, pass "inspection" and am sent way to the back to pick up the mulch. When I get there I find some employee to tell me where I get the mulch. He looks at my paperwork then tells me that I can't take anything until I go back to the inspection point and pick up a yellow pick up slip. So I drive back to the "inspector", chew him out and head back to the mulch area. A different employee looks at my yellow slip, points to the mulch and then magically disappears! It takes me 10 minutes to find another stupid employee to load the 100+ pound bags into my car (and they were not very nice about it, even after I told them I was in the family way!). Then I drive back to the inspection point to leave and the same moron who sent me in without a yellow slip says I can't leave without a blue slip. At this point in time I told him where to...well, anyway...I told him that two different people had "helped" me and that neither of them had offered me a blue slip. When he told me that I would have to drive back in and get one I decided I had had it. So I parked my station wagon in the middle of the exit door and rolled the window up until he finally had some other flunky bring up a blue slip so I could leave. I mean, come on! Why on earth would a woman who cannot even lift the bag of mulch steal them?!?!?! After that experience I am a hard-core Home Depot fan...

Movie Time...

The boys are watching "The Pebble and the Penguin". It is either exceptionally good or they are really, really tired because they are both sitting on the couch with their hands down their pants. (WHY DO BOYS DO THAT?!?!?!)

Frosted Flakes...

The boys just got into a "frosted flakes" fight. I walked into the kitchen to discover them wrestling over the cereal box (which is torn to shreds) and there is cereal EVERYWHERE!! I stopped them and told them to start cleaning it up and they proceeded to sit in the middle of the floor eating as much of the cereal as they could as fast as they could. So now, instead of cleaning it up, they are sitting in time-out in seperate rooms both yelling at the top of their lungs, "HE STARTED IT!" (And instead of cleaning it up I am blogging about it...go figure.)

Proper Grammer...

What M said about cutting his knuckle today:

"I hate bleedy. No, I hate blooding. No, I hate bleeded. Wait, that's not right. Forget it. I just hate blood on me!"

YEAH...

It worked!!! So, quick update. If anyone knows a cure for transformer-itis we need 3 antidotes and quickly! I turned 30 without too many "you're getting old" jokes. I will be done with daycare next week and, while I thought that I would be relieved to have a break, I am actually feeling a little sad at the thought of not seeing my nephew regularly every week. (Not to mention my brother and darling sister-in-law!) We have a new nephew, Nathan, who arrived on April 12th. My neighbor had a baby, also (Quinton). So now I have baby-itis, but I am trying to lose more weight before the next one. (I am down 45 pounds, yeah for me!) I started "training" for the half-marathon coming up in January. (I am pretty much just continuing to run the six miles a day that I usually do, but I am planning to gradually add more.) Today is my husband's birthday, so I am making him a pie. Oh, yes, and when I ran my dishwasher today I smelled this funky smell. I turned it off and opened it and all this smoke came out of it. Now my house smells like burnt rubber and pumpkin pie. Hopefully maintenance will be here soon.

Please, Please Work...

For some reason blogspot won't let me post anything! It got so frustrating that I just gave up trying for awhile. Hopefully this will post and life will be happy again...

Sick Kids...

It is spring break so we had planned to meet my brother and his family at the zoo tomorrow, but now all the kids are sick:( So now instead of spending the day with my husband and kids wandering the zoo I get to spend the day watching transformers and force feeding my kids Gatorade. And my husband elected to work tomorrow since we won't be doing anything fun anyway. The good news is that everyone is equally dissatisfied with these arrangements. (My poor kids are so sad, too. I hate it when things like this happen...)

Toothpaste...

Can anyone tell me why my 5 1/2 year old could pull himself away from the T.V. long enough to tattle that his 2 year old brother had his water gun, but not to tell me that his brother was squirting toothpaste all over the living room carpet? On the plus side, our house smells minty-fresh and our carpet has never been brighter.

Highchairs...

I cannot stand it when we go to a restaurant and ask for a highchair and they give us one with a broken buckle and then act all disgusted when we dare to ask for one with a buckle that works. (Z is a very small 2 year old who can climb out of a highchair in less time than it takes to finish sneezing.) Just because they don't care about my child's safety doesn't mean I don't. And for the record, acting like you could care less about my child getting injured seriously cuts into your tip. (Call me crabby, but to me keeping the highchairs in good working order should be a priority in any restaurant that advertises it self as family oriented.)

Kid Carts...

What idiot invented kid carts??? Like it is not hard enough to keep your children under control while you are shopping. I have a great idea! Let's give them something with wheels that is impossible to steer without knocking over displays and will encourage them to see how fast they can run through the store. However, the person who invented those carts that look like cars (you know the ones that have a seat where your child can pretend he is driving the cart) is on my best-friend list. Also on that list are all the women who work in the Bashes child care area and provide my children with a fun place to play so I can do my shopping in peace...

The Lion King...

Z was running around the house with lion ears on his head as well as a crown and a toy sword. He kept yelling, "Look at me! I the lion king!"

Sense and Cents...

"Hey, mom. You know what makes a lot of sense?"

"What?"

"Garage sales. You can makes lots and lots of cents when you sell things."

Names...

Whenever M gets a new stuffed animal he always chooses a name that describes it. (For example, his shamrock bear is named Leif, his turtle with the shiny shell is sparkly, etc. My mother swears that he will name his first born red and wrinkly.) It never takes him very long to decide. But when he got a stuffed dolphin from the dentist the other day he really agonized over its name, even asking people what they would call him. It went on and on with him trying to find the "perfect" name. Well, he succeeded. He informed me this morning that his dolphin is named...are you ready for this?... Mr. Dolphin. Kind of a let down, isn't it?

Children's Books...

I have been re-reading the Betsy-Tacy books because I am thinking about reading them to M. I really love that throughout all the books church and religion are so important. They don't actually play a pivotal role or anything, but they are mentioned frequently because they are an important part of the characters lives. I just really appreciate that a lot. After all, church is a big part of my children's lives and they can relate to that easily. The Ramona books mention church occasionally and of course the Little House books, but for the most part church and God are not in a lot of children's books. I just thought I'd point that out... (Oh, and my favorite part is when they start the Christian Kindness Club and end up being naughtier than ever...)

Enough Transformers Already...

When I came home from my walk tonight my husband was watching the Transformer DVD's he found for our son. He claims he was just previewing them to make certain they wouldn't freak M out, but we all know better, don't we...

Repeat Customers...

My oldest son has wanted to be a dentist since he was 3. Yesterday he told me that when he's a dentist he is going to give good patients sticky, gooey candy. When I reminded him that candy causes cavities he said, "I know. That way they'll have to keep coming back to see me!"

Spelling...

"Hey mom! Everytime I say okay I spell O.K. Cool, huh?"

My Sweet Husband...

My husband bought me diamond earrings for Valentines Day. He and M were telling me all about the shopping trip the other day and it was so sweet! I had taken Z to the play area and M went with dad to shop. Apparently the store they went to was right across from where I was sitting watching Z, so Chris told M to "be a lookout" and spy on me while he bought my gift. I guess while Chris was paying M yelled, "Dad, she's looking! DUCK!" So, (here's the sweet part) in front of the entire jewelry store Chris ducked below the counter so as not to be seen. He said everyone in the store cracked up, but "I told M it was an important job, so I had to do it!" I loved the earrings, but I love that he is such a great daddy even more!

Hair Trouble...

I've been complaining to my husband lately that no matter how much conditioner I use on my hair, it is still so dry! Well, tonight he came out of the shower laughing because I apparently grabbed one bottle of sleek and shiny shampoo and one bottle of what I thought was conditioner, but was actually shampoo for color treated hair. So, my hair has been doubly clean for the last two weeks, but sadly unconditioned. How stupid do I look right now? (Not to mention the dry hair thing...)

Fighting...

Do you ever have those days where you feel like everyone in your house is fighting with everyone else? Sigh...

Latest Song...

M's latest song:

Burgers are something you eat unless you are a vegetarian.
Boogers are something that comes out of your nose.
Cheeseburgers are something you eat unless you are a vegetarian.
Cheese-Boogers are something that comes out of your nose if you put cheese up there.

Romantic Gestures...

Tonight we went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner that is right next to a busy, Chinese restaurant/take-out place. We had to park by the Chinese food place and on our way back to the car I told Chris I wanted him to go and steal me a fortune cookie. He went in and grabbed me one, which was really pretty sweet of him, however also a little criminal, but we eat there a lot, so I'm not too worried about it. I just made a mental note to never express my desire to own a Ferrari.

Yoga...

Today Z woke up from his nap before I'd finished my yoga video. I decided to go ahead and finish up because he likes to do yoga, too. We were doing a pose called tree, where you balance on one foot, when Z got restless. He grabbed the leg I was standing on and yelled, "TIMBER!" I did manage to finish my yoga, but I had to stop for several minutes because I was laughing so hard.

Hide and Seek...

Reason's I like playing hide and seek with Z:

1. He always hides in the same spot so it is easy to "find" him.
2. If you say, "Where's Z?" he always answers, "I don't know."
3. Whenever you find him he says, "You find me! Good job!" and laughs.

Rain...

It is raining today, which it doesn't do all that often here in AZ. That is probably why Z has been standing at the window for the last 5 minutes yelling, "Mommy! Its washing outside!"

Ocean Water...

The following is a statement my husband made on why we don't drink ocean water:

"All mammals work pretty much the same way. Have you seen the size of blue whales?"

Cupcakes...

M and I baked cupcakes yesterday. We even frosted them and put an m&m on the top of each one. Today Z managed to reach the tupperware they were in and before I caught him had, in true Z fashion, eaten the m&m off of about 5 of them. He was covered in chocolate frosting, but it was impossible to yell at him when he looked up and said, " Z no eat cupcakes." I mean, he had a point there...

Starburst...

Pink Starburst are the bestest candy in the whole world!

Telephone Problems...

It used to be that whenever the phone rang M would yell, "PHONE!" Now whenever the phone rings M yells, "PHONE" and Z yells, "TELE-LE-PHONE!" always in unison. I have given up trying to get them to stop, its pointless really. But still, the phone is annoying enough without announcing its presence every time it rings!

Wendy's...

I took the kids to Wendy's for lunch today on our way to the dentist. From the second we get out of the car Z is YELLING (and I do mean YELLING!) "FRENCH FRIES!" So, I go to order and everytime I pause for breath Z says "small french fries, please" and I'd say "Yes, I know!" Anyway the girl goes to read our order back to us and she has like 6 orders of fries on there. Come on, who listens to a two-year old when he orders??? Like I was really going to let him have 6 small fries...

Mourning...

M's fish died.

Remorse...

Z disobeyed this morning and before he was allowed to go outside and play he had to apologize. So he sat on the couch pouting for 5 minutes before he mumbled out a "sorry". I let him out to play and 15 minutes later he came back in and crawled into my lap and started crying and saying, "I sorry, mommy. I sorry. I soooooorrrrryyyyy." Now I feel like the meanest mommy in the whole world! Now that is what I call true remorse...

Fasting...

Today is Ash Wednesday and I fast on this day and have for the past several years. This year my husband decided to join me, so we are both fasting. For the first time EVER I am so hungry that I can't stop thinking about food! I haven't determined if this is because I am not fasting alone or because I am usually just too busy to think about food. However, my nephew just arrived so I should be a lot busier for the rest of the day. As long as nobody talks about food, I should be fine :)

Edgar Allan Poe...

Okay, M's white noise machine has several different background noises to choose from. One of them is a heartbeat and he said that one was "creepy". I agreed with him and said there was even a story written about a man who hears a heartbeat and it was creepy, too. Now he keeps asking me to read that story to him. So, what does everyone think? 5 1/2 a little too young for "The Talltale Heart"?

Weather...

Two days ago, my boys were in shorts and t-shirts. Then yesterday they were in jeans and jackets. Now they are back in shorts. I wish it would just make up its mind. It seems like we have had cold weather for a really long time. (And yes, I am fully expecting very rude comments for this post, but still, it must be said...)

My Son The Songwriter...

M's newest song, sung to any tune you happen to have stuck in your head.

God is bigger than everything. He made everything. That's why He's bigger. 'Cause He was smart enough to make everything in the whole world smaller than Him. That was so smart of Him, 'cause now He's bigger than everythinnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg!

Things I Don't Like About Being A Mom...

toddler puke...especially at 1:00am.

Goodnight Prayers...

Z's goodnight prayer tonight:

Dear Jesus. Thank you for dragons. Thank you for pretzels. Thank you for mommy. Thank you for daddy. Thank you for M. Thank you for Thomas and Percy. Thank you for ice-cream. Help Z sleep sweet. Help Jesus sleep sweet. Amen. Oh! Thank you for Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. Amen.

Props To Walmart Manager...

I was at Walmart yesterday and the manager came over the loud speaker just to thank all his associates for working great as a team and giving 100%. I thought that was nice to hear.

A Mother's Influence...

I think maybe Z is spending too much time with mommy. After lunch today I asked him what he was going to do and he told me he was going to take a bubble bath. (Yes, I let him. It keeps out from under foot for 20 minutes. Besides he was completely covered in peanut butter.)

Did You Mean...?

"Keep me here as president and let my brothers go free."

I think he meant prisoner...

Veggie Tales...

M was singing that song from Where is God When I'm Afraid. The line is supposed to be, "when I'm lying in my bed and the furniture starts creaking, I just holler cut that out and get back to my sleeping." M sings it "when I'm lying in my bed and the furniture starts to beat me". I think his version is scarier, don't you?

Can anyone tell me...

why it is that haircutting places that cater to children charge twice as much as anywhere else? I mean their heads are smaller, right? So they have less hair, right? And they put cartoons on so they don't have to keep up that annoying background chatter. (Personally I feel that if you have scissors that close to my brain you should probably shut-up and concentrate.) If I could leave my children there and run errands while they trimmed their hair then maybe I wouldn't feel like it was such a rip-off. You know, a haircutting/daycare kind of thing. But no, I have to stand there the ENTIRE TIME. Not only that, but they continually ask me how I want the boys hair cut. If I knew that I would not have shelled out $30.00 for two haircuts this morning...

FYI...

Know what happens when you attempt to brush your teeth with a mouthful of string cheese? Well, Z demonstrated this for me today. It's gross, trust me.

Pop Rocks...

M shared some poprocks with Z today. It didn't go over too well since Z kept running around the house yelling, "ROCKS BITE ME! ROCKS BITE ME!"

How Insightful...

We were driving somewhere and the lady on the radio said that if we were the 10th caller we would win a four pack of tickets to My Little Pony Live. M piped up from the backseat, "We could TOTALLY try to win those, if only we were all girls."

Why I Hate Baking...

Recipe For Brown Bread

Combine 2 eggs, 1/2 tsp salt and 2 cups lumpy, hard as a rock brown sugar in large mixing bowl. Turn on mixer to cream, turn off mixer, change outlets, turn on mixer, turn off mixer, turn on coffee pot, turn off coffee pot, unplug coffee pot, plug mixer into coffee pot's outlet, turn on mixer, admit defeat and angrily throw broken mixer into overflowing garbage can. (Make mental note to take out garbage.) Begin to cream eggs and sugar with wooden spoon, stopping frequently to pick out brown sugar pebbles. Carefully put 3 1/2 cups flour into bowl only designed to hold 3 cups. Search for baking soda for 5 minutes before discovering youngest son covered in baking soda. Stop to clean up and discipline son. Say little prayer to God thanking him for sparing 2 tsp baking soda. Add soda to flour and carefully and slowly combine, attempting not to spill any flour. Mix 2 tsp vinegar into 2 cups of milk. Stop to explain to oldest son why this is not a good time to build a volcano. Begin to add milk and flour mixture a little at a time to brown sugar. Discover that mixture is really, really hard to stir by hand. Briefly consider abandoning attempt to make brown bread, but then remember that ingredients cost money. Take brief break to stop youngest son from playing DVD's in his CD player. Remind oldest son that he is not in charge. Return to stirring. When mixture is well-combined or your hand is too tired to stir anymore pause to glance at recipe. Say bad word when you realize you should have added baking soda to milk, not flour. Stop to remind youngest son not to say bad words. Turn on oven that should have already been preheating to 350. Carefully measure dough into two ungreased loaf pans, taking special care to make certain dough is evenly distributed. Glance at recipe, swallow swear words and scrape mixture back into mixing bowl. Rinse out loaf pans and grease. Spoon mixture back into pans as quickly as possible, paying no attention to how much each pan gets. Stick pans in oven. Remember to set timer for 40 minutes. Get baby up from nap and change diaper. Break up argument between 5 year old and 2 two year old. Fold and put away clean laundry. Put wet laundry into dryer. Put another load of laundry into washer. Break up argument between 7 month old and 2 year old. Attempt to sweep brown sugar on flour underneath cupboard with foot. Rinse dishes and attempt to load into overflowing dishwasher. Check bread. Remove bread from oven. Remind children that bread is for dinner and needs to cool. Remind children they cannot have bread. Give in to children because you are too tired to argue anymore. Comfort youngest when he burns tongue. Wrap cooled loaf for sister-in-law. Hand over said loaf and modestly accept praise when she discovers you've made her favorite. Toss recipe in still overflowing garbage and swear to never bake again.

Overheard...

The following conversation took place between two transformers (both parts being played by M):

Transformer One: "ARRGH! My leg fell off! You'll have to go on without me!"

Transformer Two: "Blast your manufacturers and their faulty construction!"

Boys...

M & Z got into a fight because Z wanted to close the bedroom door and shut M out and M didn't want to be shut out. C intervened and made Z stop closing the door only to discover that M really didn't want in their room anyway! He was just basically fighting just in case he might maybe want to be in that room later. So to prove a point C made M go into his room, kicking and screaming. As soon as Z realized M didn't really want to be in there he wandered off to find something else to do. So what exactly were they fighting about again???????

Mondays...

Every Monday I clean our bathrooms. (That way I have a valid reason to not like Mondays.) Today I went to put the rugs into the wash and returned to find that Z had decided to help me clean. He was very methodically scrubbing out the toilet (which already had cleaner in it) with he and M's toothbrushes. How gross is that!?!?!?!?!?!

And Another Thing...

Why does my son feel the need to say "PHONE!!!" everytime it rings?!?!?! Does he think I'm deaf or just really inept????

Never mind...don't answer that...

What Mothers Of Daughters Miss...

Do you know how many hours a week I spend putting transformers back together?!?!? (Actually, neither do I, but its a lot!) I finally told M that if General Grievious Leg fell off again that he would just have to hop until Dad came home...

(BTW: I mostly started this blog because it seems like such a convient way to vent... :)