I Think I Misunderstood You...

Z just pulled his shirt up and said, "I have sausage in my pants."

(Turns out he was trying to tell us that his tummy was full of veggie sausage, it just took him awhile to get there:D.)

Naomi Watts Delivery... (Warning...kinda preachy...)

Naomi Watts had her baby, so congratulations to her and Liev Schrieber. That isn't really why I am posting, though. In the press release I read it contained the following statement. A source says, "Naomi was planning on giving birth next week - her due date was early August - but since she insisted on delivering naturally, she knew there was a chance she would have the baby before the due date. That's what wound up happening. "

Two Things...

1. You can't really plan when your baby is coming, unless you are scheduled to induce.
2. INSISTED ON DELIVERY NATURALLY!?!?! Why should she have to insist on that? I mean, drugs aside, isn't your baby coming when it is ready and healthy what every woman should want?

I recently read that the average time a woman will carry a baby has been lowered from 40 weeks to 38 weeks, due solely to the number of women who insist on being induced to fit their schedule. This has also lowered the average birth weight, because babies are being born so much sooner. I am not trying to be preachy or anything. It just strikes me as kind of sad that we (as a society) seem to be so concerned with our own schedule. I assure you that once that baby comes, your schedule is out the window.

(Just to clarify...I had a scheduled C-Section with Z due to the complications I had when I delivered M. I was 38 weeks, but I had an ultrasound the week before to make certain he was healthy enough to born. I have numerous friends and acquaintances who have induced their babies just so they could make the most of their maternity leave, which I understand to a point, but still, it bothers me.)

Happy Birthday Kevin...

You are one of the hottest 48 year old's I know. Seriously.

I Went on a Date Last Night...

We went out for sushi and then saw Harry Potter OTP. It was very nice.

The Jello Story (Or Why My Marriage Almost Ended After Only 2 Years)...

Hobbitsister and Enrique invited us over for dinner and when I asked if I could bring something Hobbitsister said, "jello". (Which is kind of like hobbitsister's SIL asking her to bring rice krispies treats.) Anyway, I tried to make jello, but it didn't work. So I went to the store to buy jello, then I put it in a dish to take to hobbitsisters. The only kind of jello they had was this weird stuff with some kind of canned fruit in it and it was like $7.00 a pound and I needed 2 pounds to fill the dish. I spent almost $15.00 on jello. When my husband found out (on the way to hobbitsisters house) he went totally nuts. (Unreasonably so, if you ask me.) So we get to H and E's fighting and we were going to drive around the block to finish, but they were outside and saw us. So Chris makes an excuse and leaves. Hobbitsister realizes we're fighting and thoughtfully asks if I want to talk about it, but since that would mean telling her I didn't actually make the jello I decided not to. We made up when Chris got back (totally G-rated, we were at someone elses house you know!) and had a lovely evening and a delicious dinner at which hobbitsister completely forgot to serve the jello. So H sent home the ENTIRE thing of jello, which was HORRIBLE and I spent the next week choking it down to prove a point to my husband. (I think the point I was trying to prove is that I will eat anything to prove a point.) Anyway, Hobbitsister called the next day and I told her the whole story and we still laugh about it. 'Cept not Chris, so much, since he is still upset that I spent $15.00 we didn't have on jello nobody in their right mind would eat.

Please Stay Away From My Son Meliliot...

"He didn't say it with authority"!?!?!?!? Honestly...

Well, Isn't My Face Red...

Chris: "Who is practically perfect in every way?"

(Simultaneously)
Mom: "Mary Poppins."
M: "God."
(I guess we're both right:)

Is it just me...

or have my posts been going on and on and on and on and on and...

Harry Potter...

This post may contain possible spoilers, but I don't think so since I haven't read the book. I guess it just depends on what your view of a "spoiler" is.

That much being said, Chris is sitting on the couch reading the last chapter of Harry Potter and crying. (Okay, not so much crying as sighing and sniffing, but that is close enough.) Which means that when I get to that chapter I will be bawling my eyes out. Which means that I will have to wait until I can read the end of the book when the children aren't hovering, asking me why I'm crying. Which means I will never get to read the end of the book. Sigh...

Oh, and props to my husband for putting down his book mid-chapter to play a game with M. (A game he invented, so you know how "fun" it was for grown-ups.) He also gets props for putting it down the other night when I interrupted him, but it is none of your business why;)

At Dinner Last Night...

Z carefully peeled the skin off his baked potato while muttering under his breath, "I not eating potato paper. I don't like potato paper."

I Want to be a Bear...

My SIL sent me this email today and I thought I'd share with you!

Gonna Be A Bear

In this life I am a woman. In the next life I'd like to come back as a bear. When your a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate you are supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

When you are a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you are a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too. I could deal with that.

If your a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, I'm gonna be a bear.

Kevin Spacey...

He was a great Lex Luther, even though I personally thought that Superman Returns stank up the joint. Maybe if we email him lots of love letters he will come back to us. Or, if that doesn't work, I could always corner him in a men's room...

Brown Water...

Z is really learning his colors well. Today he handed Chris his blanket and pacifier (na-na) while Chris was sitting on the couch drinking a beer. He wandered off, but then turned around and yelled, "HEY! Don't put my na-na in you brown water!" (For the record, I'm am almost 100% positive that Z will still be able to pass a breathalyzer test. Chris wouldn't even give me a sip of his beer.)

Why I Nag...

8:30am
Mom: M, go get dressed, please.

8:35am
Mom: M, go get dressed, please.

8:45am
Mom: M, GO GET DRESSED NOW!

M: I heard you the first time.

Mom: Then why didn't you do it?

M: I was going to, but you didn't give me enough time to obey.

10:30am
Mom: M, please take your toys off the table.

11:00am
Mom: M, I asked you to take your toys off the table. Did you hear me?

M: Yes.

Mom: I gave you 30 minutes to obey. When were you planning to get around to it?

M: When you told me to again.

West Side Story (Possible Spoilers)...

When Chris and I were first married we would go down to the video store on our day off (Tuesday, oddly) and rent a movie. We would take turns each week picking. On the weeks Chris would get to choose I would sit through a terrible movie (see recent posting on his blog), a stupid movie (Catch Me If You Can) or a total guy flick (Judge Dread). On my weeks to choose Chris would fall asleep (League of Their Own, While You Were Sleeping, Murder in the First, etc. etc.) or tune it out completely, which brings me to West Side Story. We rented WSS on video, which means there were two tapes because the movie was so long. We watch the first tape, Chris barely hiding his boredom. When the first tape ends (dramatically, I might add, with Maria's brother having been killed and her laying down with Tony) Chris gets up and puts in another tape. Only after the movie started did I realize that he had not put in the next tape, but a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MOVIE! So I said, "there's another tape, you know." And he says, "No, I didn't know. Lets just watch this one since its already playing and we will watch the other tape before the movie is due back." Needless to say, he has never seen the second tape and has no idea how the movie ends. Oh, he thinks he knows how it ends, but he doesn't. I really think his life has been less blessed for not having seen this movie in its entirety, but maybe that just me.

The UPS Guy...

With most of my family out of state we get a lot of UPS packages, so we are on a first name basis with our local UPS driver. Today we were at the Taco Bell down the street when he stopped in for lunch. Z got really excited and started waving and yelling "hi". Then Z says, "write your name mommy. Its from my Grammy!" over and over and I realized he was excited because he thought we had a package. I tried to explain it to him, but he just wasn't getting it. I guess the UPS guy felt bad, though, because he gave him one of his cinnamon twists. So now Z keeps running around yelling, "Grammy send me cinnamon twists! Grammy send me cinnamon twists!" So I am dedicating this to our local UPS Driver who, to quote my older son, rocks:D

I have this solitaire game...

that I have never lost. I have played over 250 times and my statistics are still 100% positive. Granted, the game is mostly skill and isn't very difficult, but still, I was proud of the fact that I had never lost. About 3 weeks ago the cards were dealt out in such a way that it is impossible to win, no matter what you do. There are simply no moves to make. Here is the pathetic part. Instead of starting a new game I saved that game and have not played since. That used to be one of my favorite things to do to unwind, but I can't bear to lose, even if it is through no fault of my own. Thinking on it I realized that it was really nice to have at least one thing in my life be 100% positive since so much of life...well...isn't. Anyway, I still haven't made myself go in and start a new game, but maybe one of these days I will just accept that perfection isn't all its cracked up to be. Still, it was nice while it lasted...

Guess What Chelley...

I took a Harry Potter quiz and I got every single question right! I am such a Harry Potter Wiz;P (Chris only missed one so he gets props, too:)

In Honor of Mel and Hobbitsister...

We had ice-cream sundaes for breakfast:)

Chris's Blog...

Chris started a blog, but its pretty much just him and me arguing. So if you liked "Mad About You" then you can check it out.

My Children Were Actually Fighting...

over which one of them is Thing One and which is Thing Two. M thinks he is Thing One because he was born first. Z thinks he should be Thing One because M wants to be. I guess we should probably stop referring to them as Thing One and Thing Two (even if it is fitting most of the time).

My Marathon Training...

has unfortunately been put on hold. I tore the meniscus in my knee in a roller-blade related accident. The good news is that it doesn't require surgery. The bad news is that it does require weeks of physical therapy and I am not able to jog or lift until after I get the okay. I had moved up to jogging 7 miles, but now I have to start all over. I am hoping that I will still be able to run in January. I am just planning to do the half-marathon this year and do the full one next year. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Concerning Weight Problems...

I have struggled with my weight ever since I hit puberty due to numerous medical problems. I have never really fad dieted, but I like to read about them:) I am a devoted Weight Watcher member and still swear by it. I have accepted the fact that I may never be a size 8 or even a 10, but I eat healthy and exercise fanatically. I am actually in better shape than a lot of "smaller" women who don't jog 6 miles a day, do yoga 4 times a week and lift weight 3 times a week (told you I was a fanatic). I have been training to run in my first marathon in January (more on that later) and I am happy with the progress I have made. Now, can someone please tell me why ANYONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would take that new weight loss drug to lose that extra 15 pounds!?!?!? Have you heard about the side effects which include dehydration and oily diarrhea? Why would you do that to yourself to lose 15 POUNDS!?!?!? Can anyone explain this to me, 'cause I just don't get it!

The Disturbing Damon Dream...

Okay, I finally have a few minutes to myself to type this out. When M was 18 months old I had this dream that he and Chris were killed in a car accident. If that wasn't disturbing enough, in my dream I met Matt Damon shortly after they had died and we became "friends". Then (in my dream) God spoke to me and told me that he had led Matt into my life so that I could lead him to Christ. There are so many reasons why this dream was disturbing that I just can't explain them all, but the worst thing was that it made me feel guilty. Almost like I wanted to get rid of Chris and M and date Matt Damon! Anyway, I told hobbitsister and a half-hour later she was swearing to people that I had tried to convert Matt Damon by trapping him in a men's room, stripping naked and telling him he couldn't leave until he repented his sins! (That SO didn't happen!) The point is, hobbitsister is a good friend to have because every time you start to over analyze anything she makes you realize how stupid you are being without actually saying, "you are being really stupid!". (Although, I am fairly certain she has said that to me once or twice, but in her defense I was probably being really, really stupid and it needed to be said.) So even if hobbitsister tells people lies about my relationship with Matt Damon (which is purely fictional:) I still love her lots and miss her like crazy. BUT PLEASE NOTE...the Chippendale's thing was COMPLETELY her idea, even if she told her husband otherwise...

My Husband Is Such A Nerd Sometimes...

Me: "What are you eating?"

Chris: "Circular crackers and Swiss cheese quadrilaterals."

(Luckily for him I find nerdiness a very attractive quality...)

Chris has started calling Z...

Bugsy McStink-Foot. Don't ask.

Today I Actually Said To My Children...

"Will you two please stop doing things that are gross!?!?!?!?!"

Simpson's Quote That Made Me LOL...

"There is no air in space!"

"What!?!?! But there's an air in space museum!"

More Three Good Things...

One of Chris's good things tonight was that I wore my hair in pigtails today. I'm starting to think he might have a thing for the Swiss Miss lady...

Just Venting...

I hate it when I wake up to a filthy kitchen because some unnamed person didn't do the dishes and didn't let me know so I could do them. But what I hate more is when said person leaves dirty dishes in a sink full of water so that first thing in the morning I have to plunge my hands into cold, disgusting water. It is just yucky...

The T-Mobil commercial that reminds me of Meliliot...

Okay, you see these kids texting to each other and then you see them take over a grocery store to have cart races. Also, there's one where the meet on opposite sides of the escalator and have a silly string fight. In other tech news...today we saw two girls sitting across from one another at the same table having lunch. They both had their laptops on and they were...here's the part I don't get...looking at each others my space page! I mean, they were actually close enough to communicate IN PERSON and they were posting to one another instead. How sad is that really?!?!?

(Did you know that spellcheck says that "texting" isn't a real word? Go figure...)

Guess what I gave my family for dinner...

A box of wheat thins, a container of laughing cow Swiss cheese and apple wedges. I am so unbelievably lazy today!

The PG13 Matt Damon Story...

Ben Afleck was on some talk show and said that he had been out to dinner with Matt and that Matt had left the table to use the men's room and come back looking "pale and uncomfortable". It turns out some girl had followed him into the men's room, stripped off all her clothing and "offered her body" to him. Ben said he asked Matt what he did and he said, "I refused politely and left the men's room without peeing." Anyway...that is the PG13 story that hobbitsister is referring to. As for the Matt Damon dream I had...it will have to wait until I have more time to do it justice;P.

I got hit on today...

At first I thought he was just making conversation while I paid my bill, but then he told me he was getting off in an hour and invited me to join him for happy hour. Needless to say, my kids and husband were not with me at the time. (Also, Chris said I couldn't go...even after I pointed out that drinks are half-price during happy hour! Some people...)

I smiled today...

when the 50-something-year-old nurse that was checking me in told me I'd have to take off all my bling before the MRI.

I wish we had some...

leftover frosting to put on these cookies.

Cookies...

My husband baked me chocolate chip cookies while I was out on my walk. He even timed it so the last batch would be ready right after I got home. I ate 5 of them. I will be eating 2 more before bed. (Please note that he measures his cookies with a one tablespoon scoop, so I did not eat 7 cookies, only 7 Tbsp.)

The Matt Damon Dream...

Okay, so Chelley posted this clip of Matt Damon doing his Matthew M. impression and I remembered this dream I had about him. It upset me soooo much that I told hobbitsister who had me cracking up about 5 minutes later. Seriously, we were both laughing our heads off while Erma and Scout chased M around the McDonalds playland. Aren't friends great??? I mean, I was really upset, but you just stepped in and made me laugh at myself and Matt Damon, hobbitsister. You are a great friend! (And for the record this dream was G rated. I just want to see if hobbitsister remembers it;P.)

Does anyone else wish...

Matthew McConaughey would put on a shirt? I mean, what is with that? Does he have sensitive nipples or something? I'm as human as the next girl and even I am tired of seeing his naked chest on the cover of every magazine in the checkout line.