Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Tough Questions...
I recently read a book by Caroline Mahaney, who is a wonderful Christian author. One of the things she addressed in the book was women's desire to be thin. I admit that this has always been my desire, one I have never achieved. I have tried every diet on the planet and exercise (even now) a lot more frequently than is probably good for me. To what end? Before I re-injured my knee I was down to a size 14. That's it. As advised by this book I made a list of the reasons I wanted to be "healthy" only to realize that I am healthy! My cholesterol and blood pressure are well within normal ranges, my asthma is under control, I rarely get winded and I have no trouble keeping up with my kids (at least I didn't before I got pregnant). So I ripped up that list and made a new list with all the reasons I wanted to be "thin". Guess what? Not a single one of them was God honoring. Not even one! My husband doesn't even prefer skinny girls, so I can't use being more attractive to him as an excuse. (Truth be told, he hates it when I diet!) So while I am still eating healthy I am trying not to do it in hopes of losing the baby weight faster. While I am still walking in the evening I am taking the doctors advice and not running. I am even shortening my walk when I feel tired. I don't know how long this new attitude will last, but I am praying about it. But this time I'm not asking God to give me will-power or a tighter butt! This time I'm asking Him to help me remember that my identity isn't built around my earthly appearance, but my heavenly one. I am asking Him to give me the strength and courage to ignore my worldly desires in order to focus more clearly on what He desires for me which I'm guessing probably doesn't have a lot to do with how my butt looks today.
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4 comments:
I've really wrestled with this since getting sick and delivering prematurely. Even though my insecurities about my weight have not gone away (and to be honest, they may not ever go away), my desire truly is to be healthy. I'm not there now. But it's where I want to be - and need to be.
However, I won't deny that a healthier me would also be a thinner and prettier me. The difference, I guess, is that my goal weight is higher than it was when I was only concerned about looks.
Like I said, it's still a struggle!
Oh, that's so hard though... true, but hard! (hard to remember/believe) Nice that your husband doesn't like it when you diet though -- I need to find someone like that too! ;) (I know, that wasn't the point;)
You have such a sweet heart, my friend!
I'm little overwhelmed... I love you Busy :)
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