Surprises...

Me: What would you like for lunch, Z? We have hot-dogs, ravioli, chicken nuggets or chips and cheese?

Z: Just surprise me, but not with a hot-dog. Or ravioli. Or chicken nuggets. Or chips and cheese.

Me: That was all your choices. Which did you want?

Z: Sigh. Just SURPRISE me.

So I put a Little Debbie zebra cake on a napkin and called him to the table. He was surprised. ;)

Hope The Baby Gets The Father's Brains...

I am in the baby aisle looking for something for AJ when a young, pregnant woman and her husband enter the aisle to look at formula.

Her: Geez. This stuff is so expensive! I wish there was something cheaper. (Turns to me.) What do you feed your baby?

Me: Breastmilk.

Her: What brand is that? Do you know what it costs? (Husband looks amused.)

Me: Its free.

Her: Oh. (Leans toward husband and whispers loudly.) I think she must be on welfare.

(I could still hear her husband laughing from 3 aisles away.)

You're Right, That Doesn't Make Sense...

"Z is ALWAYS bouncing around, running, rolling on the ground or spinning in circles. So how is it possible that when we put him in a car he gets MOTION SICK???"

-Chris, after Z threw up for the second time in the van we borrowed for our trip.

The Joy Of Road Trips...

M: Are we there yet?

Me: No. Please don't start that again.

(Blessed silence from the backseat for maybe two minutes...)

Z: Mom, I can spell Tiger. T-I-G...

M: Mom, I made this picture and if you press this button...

Z: I can spell rainbow. R-A-I...

M: See, now if I press it really fast it...

Z: I can spell nest. N-E-S...

M: Do you want me to teach you how to...

Z: I can spell fish. F-I-S...

M: Its not hard. I could show you how to...

Me to Chris: Are we there yet?!?!?!?

I Know, TMI...

"Sometimes when I sneeze I end up with boogers in my mouth. And that is called gravity!"

Yep, Z has a cold!

Gimme That....

Z: Can I play with that?
M: Not right now.
Z: Why not?
M: Because I had it first.
Z: That doesn't matter to Jesus, M!

But Sometimes They Are...

DVDPlay Rep: Thank you for calling DVDPlay. How can I help you?

Me: We rented a movie from you and it was too badly scratched to watch. I emailed and was told I would be contacted within 24 hours. I wasn't certain what you would want me to do with the movie so I held on to it until I got a response. In the response it says that I will be charged any late fees for not returning the movie on time. It took you 2 days to contact me and I just want to be certain I am not being charged a fee.

Rep: I see we contacted you this afternoon. The movie isn't due until 7:00pm.

Me: 7:00pm yesterday. I could have returned it on time if you had contacted me within the 24 hour time period, but you didn't. I'm not paying for a movie we couldn't watch.

Rep: Didn't you have a phone you could call us on?

Me: There was a hold of 11 people and your automated system referred me to the website. Again, had your website told me to go ahead and return the movie I would have, but it didn't. I will return it this afternoon, but I'm not paying any late fees.

Rep: Well, I will give you a one time exception on your late fees, but be aware that this is the only time I will be able to do this.

Me: This is not an exception. If you had emailed me within your 24 hours like you said you would we wouldn't be having this conversation.

Rep: Well, I can only make an exception this one time.

Me: Well, now that I know that I should just return the broken DVD after I contact you I won't need you to do this again. However it shocks me that people actually pay you to be this ANNOYING!

The Customer Is Not Always Right...

Phone rings...

Me: Hello?
Some Random Guy: Ya, is this the boxing gym?
Me: No, this is my home number. That gym closed several years ago, but they still pull up under a google search.
Guy: Ya, my kid wants to take boxing lessons.
Me: This isn't a boxing gym.
Guy: What days do you have available? I was thinking Friday.
Me: This is my house. This is not a boxing gym.
Guy: Do you offer individual or group lessons? What would be the difference in price?
Me: This isn't a boxing gym!
Guy: Listen! My kid wants to take boxing lessons (insert profanity)!!!
Me: *click* Moron.

What A Ride...

Today M built a really cool roller coaster out of k'nex. Before it took off for its first trip he gave the passengers very specific instructions.

"If you hold on tight you will have an awesome time. If you don't hold on tight you will fall out and die. Enjoy your ride!"

Veggie Tales Drama...

Tonight our family watched "Rack, Shack and Benny". At one point in time Junior tells Bob and Larry that they shouldn't eat too much chocolate, even though Mr. Nezzer said that they could all they wanted to. Tonight as we are putting Z to bed he begins to cry, very, VERY upset. When we can finally get him to talk about what was wrong, this is what he had to say....

"But...but....mom....wh-wh-why would the p-p-parents s-s-say that they cou-cou-couldn't eat all the ch-ch-chocolate when he s-s-said that they cou-cou-could?????"

I think he may have missed the point....