Why Our Kids Don't Sleep In Our Bed...

Our kids have never been allowed to sleep in our beds and last night I remembered why. Z has had a lot of asthma problems the last few days which has resulted in him being up A LOT and waking up WAY TOO EARLY. So around 5am last night I pulled him into bed with us so we could all get some more sleep.

"I have to tell you guys something. I just really love you."
"I think someone is squishing my leg."
"I just really love cuddling with you, dad. That's why I'm cuddling you."
"La La La La. Dum-de-dum. La La La La..."
"I totally getting squeezed here."
"I'm so glad we are all snuggling."

He did eventually fall asleep around 5:30 and slept for another hour+ curled up next to Chris. Which is why he isn't allowed to get in our bed again. That's where I sleep!

War Of No Words...

Z: shhh!
M: shhh!
Z (louder): Shhh!
M (louder): Shhh!
Z: You don't get to shhh me!
M: Then don't shhh me!
Z (very loudly): SHHHHHHHH!!!
M (very loudly): SHHHHHHHH!!!

(I'd keep typing, but it went on for about 10 minutes before they gave it up.)

A Bug's Life...

M killed a bug today.

"That bug is now dead. Physically dead, but we don't really know where he stood with Jesus."

Silly Mommy...

Me: Z, do you need to use the bathroom?
Z: Nope. I just went.
Me: Are you sure? You're kind of dancing around.
Z: Not because I have to go potty. Just because I love dancing!

So Many Things Are Incomprehensible...

M: God is incomprehensible.
Z: I can't even say that word.
M: I'll help you. Repeat after me. In...
Z: In...
M: Comp...
Z: Comp...
M: Be... no, wait. That's not right.
Z: Be...
M: Let me start over. In...
Z: In...
M: Com...
Z: Com...
M: Pre...
Z: Pre...
M: Him... wait. Hen. Yeah, hen.
Z: Him...
M: No! Hen! Oh, just forget it. Just say We can't understand God.
Z: Because He's incomprehensible, right?

Why I Love Mr. L...

Mr. and Mrs. L just got back from China. We were discussing the food and asked if they had tried anything "different".

Mr. L: Well, we had blood. They fry it in a pan and it coagulates.
Mr. R: Was it any good?
Mr. L (very matter of factly): Nope.

Favorite "We're Having A Baby" Moments...

Lately (probably because I'm pregnant) a lot of moms have been telling me their husbands responses to "the news". Some of them have been quite priceless and I thought I'd share them with you.

Accountant Response: "I'm going to have to redo our budget."
Lawyer Response: "We're going to need a new will."
Skeptic Response: "I'm pretty sure you can't be pregnant."
Confused Response: "Does that mean we are having a baby?"
Honeymoon Baby Response: "But you can't be pregnant. We just got married!"
After the Vasectomy Response: "I'm thinking we are entitled to a refund."
Baby Six Response: "Its going to be hard to fit us all in the lens to get a family photo."
My Husbands Response to M: "Told you so."
My Husbands Response to Z: "Told you so."
My Husbands Response to Flubber: "Seriously? Really?"
Favorite Movie Response: Stanley Goodspeed, The Rock

Carla (After telling Stanley that she is pregnant.): You didn't mean what you just said, did you?
Stanley: When?
Carla: Just now. When you were talking about bringing a child into the world and it being an act of cruelty.
Stanley: I meant it at the time.
Carla: Stanley! At the time, you said it like 7 1/2 seconds ago!
Stanley: Well, gee hon, kind of a lots changed since then.

Z's Imaginary Friend...

Z has an imaginary friend he calls "Mousie". Mousie is pretty much everything I'm not. He lets Z do what he wants to do, when he wants to do it and is always saying exactly what Z wants to hear. Tonight, for instance, when Z wet his bed he got up to tell me and announced:

"Mousie said to get up and change my shirt and get a new blanket, but not to worry because he wasn't disappointed in me."

I would not have been disappointed in him if he had actually been asleep, but he wasn't. He was just too lazy to get up. So I wonder why I frequently feel in superior to Mousie?

If You Give A Baby A Chicken Nugget...

Z: I think our baby will be hungry for chicken nuggets.

Mom: Babies don't eat chicken nuggets.

Z: Are babies allergic to chicken nuggets.

Mom: No, babies don't have any teeth. What can we give our baby to eat if they don't have any teeth?

Z: Dirt?

Bumper Sticker That Is My Life...

Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

Apologies...

Z was sent to bed without books, without drama. (Okay there was drama on his part.) He just came out of his room, teary-eyed, went straight to Chris and said, "I'm sorry I disobeyed your directions." We were both a bit surprised, but Chris hugged him, thanked him and went to tuck him back in. What is most surprising is that he didn't ask for a story. He did express sadness that he didn't get to read one, but he didn't ask. Definite progress:)

Paris Hilton Really Loves Her Dogs...

I'm so glad your time in prison taught you so much and that you have decided to devote yourself to the plight of others. (Anyone else remember those "mature" statements?) But $325,000.00 for a dog house??? Not just any dog house, though. This one has a wrought iron mini-staircase, chandeliers, air conditioning and separate bedrooms for her 6 dogs. Sigh. As I've said before, celebrities just aren't like us...

Obama Asks Moms To Return To School...

I don't know if this is an exact quote (seriously doubt it) it is just the headline for numerous ads I've been seeing. And it breaks my heart. The economy is so bad and so many people are jobless and yet we would still undermine what moms do at home. It makes me sad that the entire attitude has become that moms want to work outside their homes, but aren't qualified. I have numerous friends who gave up lucrative careers to pursue motherhood, but I still am frequently asked (like, yesterday) when I'm "going to get a real job". Sad. Just sad.

Z Playing Sequence...

"Wait! Is that cheating? Can you go diagonals? Oh, okay. But you said we can't make L's and I made an L. Look! 12345! That is a sequence. How come? Oh, you can make L's, but they aren't sequence. But diagonals are sequence? Okay. (Game Ends.) Wait! I didn't get to steal one! I have a steal one Jack. If I could steal your sequence you wouldn't win. But that is cheating. I'll just steal this one. (Randomly selects chip. Walks away happy that he stole a chip regardless of the outcome:)