I Know, TMI...

"Sometimes when I sneeze I end up with boogers in my mouth. And that is called gravity!"

Yep, Z has a cold!

Gimme That....

Z: Can I play with that?
M: Not right now.
Z: Why not?
M: Because I had it first.
Z: That doesn't matter to Jesus, M!

But Sometimes They Are...

DVDPlay Rep: Thank you for calling DVDPlay. How can I help you?

Me: We rented a movie from you and it was too badly scratched to watch. I emailed and was told I would be contacted within 24 hours. I wasn't certain what you would want me to do with the movie so I held on to it until I got a response. In the response it says that I will be charged any late fees for not returning the movie on time. It took you 2 days to contact me and I just want to be certain I am not being charged a fee.

Rep: I see we contacted you this afternoon. The movie isn't due until 7:00pm.

Me: 7:00pm yesterday. I could have returned it on time if you had contacted me within the 24 hour time period, but you didn't. I'm not paying for a movie we couldn't watch.

Rep: Didn't you have a phone you could call us on?

Me: There was a hold of 11 people and your automated system referred me to the website. Again, had your website told me to go ahead and return the movie I would have, but it didn't. I will return it this afternoon, but I'm not paying any late fees.

Rep: Well, I will give you a one time exception on your late fees, but be aware that this is the only time I will be able to do this.

Me: This is not an exception. If you had emailed me within your 24 hours like you said you would we wouldn't be having this conversation.

Rep: Well, I can only make an exception this one time.

Me: Well, now that I know that I should just return the broken DVD after I contact you I won't need you to do this again. However it shocks me that people actually pay you to be this ANNOYING!

The Customer Is Not Always Right...

Phone rings...

Me: Hello?
Some Random Guy: Ya, is this the boxing gym?
Me: No, this is my home number. That gym closed several years ago, but they still pull up under a google search.
Guy: Ya, my kid wants to take boxing lessons.
Me: This isn't a boxing gym.
Guy: What days do you have available? I was thinking Friday.
Me: This is my house. This is not a boxing gym.
Guy: Do you offer individual or group lessons? What would be the difference in price?
Me: This isn't a boxing gym!
Guy: Listen! My kid wants to take boxing lessons (insert profanity)!!!
Me: *click* Moron.

What A Ride...

Today M built a really cool roller coaster out of k'nex. Before it took off for its first trip he gave the passengers very specific instructions.

"If you hold on tight you will have an awesome time. If you don't hold on tight you will fall out and die. Enjoy your ride!"

Veggie Tales Drama...

Tonight our family watched "Rack, Shack and Benny". At one point in time Junior tells Bob and Larry that they shouldn't eat too much chocolate, even though Mr. Nezzer said that they could all they wanted to. Tonight as we are putting Z to bed he begins to cry, very, VERY upset. When we can finally get him to talk about what was wrong, this is what he had to say....

"But...but....mom....wh-wh-why would the p-p-parents s-s-say that they cou-cou-couldn't eat all the ch-ch-chocolate when he s-s-said that they cou-cou-could?????"

I think he may have missed the point....

At Least He's Honest...

Z kept singing the same line of a song over and over and over and....well, you get the picture. Finally M had just had enough and yelled, "Who died and made you annoying????" Z yelled right back, "Nobody died! I was born annoying!"

This Isn't A Restaurant...

Z was a bit demanding at lunchtime today and I had had enough.

Me (sarcastically): If I told you this isn't Burger King would you know what I meant?

Z (without missing a beat): Yes. We only get unhappy meals here!

Nichole Nordeman, I AM...

I AM

Pencils marks on a wall, I wasn't always this tall.
You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed.
You watched my team win, You watched my team lose.
Watched when my bike went down again.
And when I was weak, unable to speak,
still I could call You by name.
And I said Elbow Healer, Superhero, come if You can
and You said I AM.

Only sixteen, life is so mean.
What kind of curfew is 10pm?
You saw my mistakes, watched my heart break.
Heard when I swore I'd never love again.
And when I was weak, unable to speak,
still I could call You by name.
And I said Heartache Healer, Secret Keeper, be my best friend
and You said I AM.

You saw me wear white by soft candlelight.
I said forever to whatever lies ahead.
Two kids and a dream, to kids who can scream.
Too much so it seems at 2am.
And when I am weak, unable to speak,
still I can call You by name.
And I say Shepherd, Savior, Pasture Maker, hold onto my hand
and You say I AM.

The winds of change and circumstance blow in and all around us.
So we find a foothold that's familiar.
And bless those moments when we feel you nearer.

When life had begun, I was woven and spun.
You let angels dance around the throne.
And who can say when, but they'll dance again.
When I am free and finally headed home.
I will be weak, unable to speak, but still I will call You by name.
Creator, Maker, Life Sustainer, Comforter, Healer, My Redeemer,
Lord and King, Beginning and the End, I AM.
Yes, I AM.