My Current Prayer...

Dear Lord, Please help me remember that I am not a martyr, I am a wife and a mother and I am thankful that you have given me such a high calling. Amen.

Maybe its just me, but sometimes I put myself up on a pedestal created of dishes, laundry and toys. I start to think that this entire house would fall apart without me, especially since I haven't built it all that securely. AJ has been very humbling for me. I'd forgotten what its like to have something so helpless and demanding taking up so much of my precious time. I am constantly behind, drowning in housework and struggling to keep my head above water and a smile on my face. I worried when the boys went to school this year that I would have more time and yet still be unable to keep up. Is that what happened? No...and yes... See, I'd also forgotten that as infants become more mobile and more independent they also become more demanding. No longer do I have the luxury of 3 hour naps and if AJ is in that grocery cart for more than an hour forget leaving the store without people staring and pointing. The boys need lunches packed, clean clothes to wear and a ride to school. They are going to need to be picked up from school and we will be talking about their day and doing their homework until its time to make dinner. After dinner there is choir, scouts and soccer practice. AJ needs her milk and blankie, Z needs a story and a cuddle and M wants to read just one more chapter. Bedtime comes and the house is a mess, but I haven't had a chance to exercise or hear about Chris's day. So where does that leave me? Well, here. Here in my home where God has called me. And He reminds me constantly that here is not only a place, but a time as well. Here is now. And now AJ is one, Z is five and M is nine. That won't always be the case, as I know all too well. I know in my heart that this time is precious. And since Jesus has my heart, Satan strikes at my head. Because in my heart I know that my priorities are right, but in my head I am losing at this stay-at-home mom thing. My head demands perfection, my heart accepts grace. My head tells me that I am my family's foundation, my heart tells me that that is God's job. In my head I am a martyr, but in my heart I am a wife and mother. And so I pray. A lot. I remind myself to take those thoughts captive and replace them with truth. God's truth.

Unless Jehovah had been my help, my soul had soon dwelt in silence. When I said my foot slipeth; thy loving kindness, oh Jehovah, held me up. In the multitude of thoughts within me Thy comforts delight my soul. Psalm 94:17-19

Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30

You shall teach them diligently to your sons. And you shall speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way. And when you rise up and when you lie down. Deuteronomy 6:7

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment...instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is one great worth in God's eyes. 1 Peter 3:3a-4

Yep, that's better...