April Fool...

35 years ago on April Fools Day my future mother-in-law announced to her family that she was expecting a baby. Of course, no one believed her. In fact, it probably would have taken many more weeks to convince them if that baby hadn't decided to make his appearance very, VERY early. He came on April 19th and let me tell you, he ain't no joke. He is, in fact, the best thing that ever happened to me. He is, without a doubt, the world's greatest husband. Would you like further proof?

• Last night...




• Me: Where are the rest of those suckers?


• Chris: In the sucker basket.


• Me: We have a sucker basket?


• Chris: Yes.


• Me: Where?


• Chris: Next to the chocolate basket.


• Me: We have a chocolate basket?!?!


• Chris: Yes.


• Me: Since when????


• Chris: Since I decided that two of your favorite treats should have special places on the shelf that way I can make sure we don't run out.


• Me: Have a I told you I love you lately?


• Chris: Yes.


• Me: When?


• Chris: Right before you went looking for the sucker basket.


• Me: Okay then.

Theology Z Style...

Z: God knows everything, right?
Me: Yep.
Z: I'm so jealous of that.
Me: Why?
Z: Because I really want to know what the inside of a tree looks like.
M: You can see when you cut it down.
Z: SIGH. I want to see the inside of a alive tree, not a dead one!


Z: Were Adam and Eve married?
Me: Yes.
Z: Who married them?
Me: God.
Z: Where?
Me: In the garden of Eden.
Z: Did He bring a gift?

Today I Was Hugged By A Total Stranger...

Her name was Carly and she was five-years-old...

Carly: Did you lose all your hair because you have cancer?
Me: Yes, I did.
Carly: My great granny had breast cancer. What kind do you have?
Me: Breast cancer.
Carly: Are you going to die?
Me: No. Jesus is taking very good care of me.
Carly: Jesus took very good care of my great granny, too, but He did it by taking her to heaven to live with Him.
Me: I'm sorry your great granny died, but I'm so glad she is in Heaven.
Carly: And I'm very sad that you have cancer, but I'm very happy that you know Jesus.
Me: Me, too.
Carly: Could you come down here for a sec? I'd like to give you a hug before we say good-bye.
Me: Absolutely.
Carly: Thanks. (Gives me a big hug and whispers in my ear...) Jesus will take good care of you. He promised and Jesus never breaks His promises.

Thank you, Jesus, for that very sweet reminder. You know I needed it!

Time...

"Most of us sense something else about time: it is a resource. Moreover it is a unique resource. It cannot be accumulated like money or stockpiled like raw materials. We are forced to spend it, whether we choose to or not, and at a fixed rate of 60 seconds every minute. It cannot be turned on and off like a machine or replaced like a man. It is irretrievable."

Our pastor shared this quote at my women's meeting this morning and it struck such a chord with me. I was on the fast track. I used to joke that I knew God was God, I just had trouble with being still. But now I'm still. A. Lot. And I'm learning more and more how quickly time passes and how easily I've squandered it rushing to the next thing. Wanting to be done with the here and now and onto the bigger and better. I'm sad to think about all those things I've missed being a "busymommy". I hate cancer, but if that is what it took for God to slow me down then I will choose to count it all joy. Because there is so much beauty in being still.

Cancer Quote...

Oh, I've heard it all. Some funny, some sad, some pointless and others just confusing ("You never know how important nose hair is until it falls out." Hmmm...thanks? But my little Z has topped them all...

Z: I forgot my folder.
Me: Lets run back to your classroom and get it then. (We hadn't left the school yet.)

Z takes off running, I follow at a steady walk. By the time I arrive he has the door propped open and is waiting, with one hand on his hip, leaning on the door with a saucy little tilt to his head. As soon as I am close enough he says, quite sarcastically...

"I guess moms with cancer aren't good runners, either!"

Sesame Street...

Tonight while watching an old Sesame Street video...

Chris: You know Gordon and Olvia have been divorced since the 70's, right? They're just staying together for the puppets.

He said it so seriously that I totally cracked up.

My 3 Favorite Kids...

M: Are you going to lose your hair?
Me: Yes, I am, but it doesn't matter.
M: Are you going to wear a wig?
Me: Probably not.
M: You do know they make those, right?!?!?!

(He was totally cool with it once I told him that he and his brother could cover my head with temporary tatoos for Talk Like A Pirate Day.)

Me: What does a cow say?
AJ: OOOOO!
Me: Right! What does a dog say?
AJ: Oof Oof!
Me: Right! What does a sheep say?
AJ: AAAAA!
Me: Right! What does a pig say?
AJ: La La La!

(Auntie Hobbitsister sent AJ the book Moo, Baa, La La La for christmas. The first lines are A cow says moo, a sheep says baa, three singing pigs say la la la. Now AJ is officially confused.)

Z: I love you.
Me: I love you.
Z: I hate cancer.
Me: I hate cancer, too.
Z: I also hate green bean casserole, but M says that at least it doesn't make you go bald.

Guess What...

Cancer sucks. I hate it more than I can ever remember hating ANYTHING. It frustrates me, inconveniences me, scares me and angers me. Those are all facts. But here are some other facts. Cancer pushes me constantly to the feet of Jesus. It keeps me on my knees in prayer. It forces me to remember what really matters. I can't bring myself to like cancer, I can't even bring myself to stop hating it. But that's okay because God never intended me to have cancer. He didn't create cancer and He didn't punish me with cancer. He is still in control and on His throne and even cancer can't change that. So take that, cancer, because you already lost!

Paxon Ray--December 25, 2010-January 4, 2011...

Today we sat in church and said good-bye to our precious Paxon Ray. I say "our" because God granted me the beautiful privilege of praying and loving Paxon long before we even knew his name. And I have, faithfully. My prayers have gone from daily, to hourly, to constant. And they were answered. Paxon rests safely in the arms of Jesus, whole and perfect. So now my prayer has changed. And I still pray constantly for comfort and peace that surpasses all understanding, because how could anyone understand saying good-bye to their 11-day-old. I can tell you with conviction that he has left a greater legacy in his shortened life than some others will leave in 90 years. God has moved and is still moving and He is using Paxon's story to remind people that all life is beautiful and worth fighting for.

Paxon Ray
Written and Performed by Kristie Braselton

We gazed at you in black and white.
We prayed for you night after night.
Paxon Ray

Those tiny hands and tiny heart.
We fought for you right from the start.
Paxon Ray

Only Jesus knew how long we'd have with you.
So we treasured every moment you were here.

Sweet Paxon Ray, with us just eleven days.
How we wish you could have stayed.
Sweet Paxon Ray, we will hold you once again.
One wonderful day, sweet Paxon Ray.

Oh the joy the day you came.
You were so small and yet so brave.
Our Paxon Ray.

Your fragile fingers gripped us tight.
You wouldn't go without a fight.
Paxon Ray

We know that now our Father has healed your heart for you.
And one day He'll make our broken hearts whole, too.

We weren't finished loving you.
Our little boy, you will always be.
No, we weren't finished loving you.
So we'll love you into eternity.



This road is dark, hard and old.
Our feet are tired, sore and cold.
Today uncertain. Tomorrow unknown.
But He is our light, our shelter, our gold.

-Paxon's Daddy (December 28, 2010)

My Year In Review...

In February we lost my brother-in-law, Scott. Their home was also destroyed in a fire. We traveled to be with my sister and my nephews for the funeral and the short time we had was a blessing to us. We took not one, but two trips to Legoland this year, even taking time to visit the new water park. Chris and I celebrated 14 years of marriage. M moved up in Scouts, becoming a WEBELOS. Z started Kindergarten. After much prayer and research we moved the boys into a local public school, which has been a huge blessing to all of us. We lost an old family friend to suicide and I lost an acquaintance to breast cancer. A friend went missing for several days, but was found. We continue to pray for her and her family. I was diagnosed with breast cancer and have spent many hours undergoing tests and meeting new doctors. Chris graduated from the University of Phoenix (with honors, I might add!) with another business degree. M turned 9, Z turned 6 and AJ turned 1. Chris and I actually spent one whole night away from our kids. (Okay, it was like 12 hours, but it was still nice!) I read lots of books and made it through a couple of movies. We went to the movie theatre twice, once with everyone to see Toy Story 3 and then once as a couple to see the new Harry Potter. M started reading book 7 in the Harry Potter series and Z learned to read and got his own library card. My parents visited twice this year. We spent a lot of time with friends. I cooked meals for 5 families that had new babies at their house. We rang in the New Year at 10:00 with a few of our dearest friends and Chris and I fell asleep before 2011 even began. All in all, it was a wonderful year and I can hardly wait to see what God has in store for us in 2011! Happy New Year, Friends! Praying right now that God will bless each and every one of you in many special ways this year. Love you all!