Paxon Ray--December 25, 2010-January 4, 2011...

Today we sat in church and said good-bye to our precious Paxon Ray. I say "our" because God granted me the beautiful privilege of praying and loving Paxon long before we even knew his name. And I have, faithfully. My prayers have gone from daily, to hourly, to constant. And they were answered. Paxon rests safely in the arms of Jesus, whole and perfect. So now my prayer has changed. And I still pray constantly for comfort and peace that surpasses all understanding, because how could anyone understand saying good-bye to their 11-day-old. I can tell you with conviction that he has left a greater legacy in his shortened life than some others will leave in 90 years. God has moved and is still moving and He is using Paxon's story to remind people that all life is beautiful and worth fighting for.

Paxon Ray
Written and Performed by Kristie Braselton

We gazed at you in black and white.
We prayed for you night after night.
Paxon Ray

Those tiny hands and tiny heart.
We fought for you right from the start.
Paxon Ray

Only Jesus knew how long we'd have with you.
So we treasured every moment you were here.

Sweet Paxon Ray, with us just eleven days.
How we wish you could have stayed.
Sweet Paxon Ray, we will hold you once again.
One wonderful day, sweet Paxon Ray.

Oh the joy the day you came.
You were so small and yet so brave.
Our Paxon Ray.

Your fragile fingers gripped us tight.
You wouldn't go without a fight.
Paxon Ray

We know that now our Father has healed your heart for you.
And one day He'll make our broken hearts whole, too.

We weren't finished loving you.
Our little boy, you will always be.
No, we weren't finished loving you.
So we'll love you into eternity.



This road is dark, hard and old.
Our feet are tired, sore and cold.
Today uncertain. Tomorrow unknown.
But He is our light, our shelter, our gold.

-Paxon's Daddy (December 28, 2010)

My Year In Review...

In February we lost my brother-in-law, Scott. Their home was also destroyed in a fire. We traveled to be with my sister and my nephews for the funeral and the short time we had was a blessing to us. We took not one, but two trips to Legoland this year, even taking time to visit the new water park. Chris and I celebrated 14 years of marriage. M moved up in Scouts, becoming a WEBELOS. Z started Kindergarten. After much prayer and research we moved the boys into a local public school, which has been a huge blessing to all of us. We lost an old family friend to suicide and I lost an acquaintance to breast cancer. A friend went missing for several days, but was found. We continue to pray for her and her family. I was diagnosed with breast cancer and have spent many hours undergoing tests and meeting new doctors. Chris graduated from the University of Phoenix (with honors, I might add!) with another business degree. M turned 9, Z turned 6 and AJ turned 1. Chris and I actually spent one whole night away from our kids. (Okay, it was like 12 hours, but it was still nice!) I read lots of books and made it through a couple of movies. We went to the movie theatre twice, once with everyone to see Toy Story 3 and then once as a couple to see the new Harry Potter. M started reading book 7 in the Harry Potter series and Z learned to read and got his own library card. My parents visited twice this year. We spent a lot of time with friends. I cooked meals for 5 families that had new babies at their house. We rang in the New Year at 10:00 with a few of our dearest friends and Chris and I fell asleep before 2011 even began. All in all, it was a wonderful year and I can hardly wait to see what God has in store for us in 2011! Happy New Year, Friends! Praying right now that God will bless each and every one of you in many special ways this year. Love you all!

Actual Conversation I Just Had...

Z: What's this word?
Me: Noel.
Z: No elf? That is a terrible thing to put on a Christmas card!
Me: Not no elf. Noel.
Z: Yes there is. Right there. (Points at the L.)
Me: No. Not no "L". Noel.
Z: If you don't know what it says I'll just ask dad.

My Boys New Favorite Christmas Joke...

From my nephew T...

How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?

Answer in comments...

Beatitudes...

The children at our church are memorizing the beatitudes for Sunday school. If they can learn them all and recite them at the end of the school year they get to attend a waffle party with our children's pastor. Z missed last year because he wouldn't say his verses to his teachers (too busy playing!), but he is quite determined to go this year and practices his verses A LOT. This morning on the way to school he was reciting them and then...

"I made up my own beatitude, mom. Isaac 1:1. Blessed are those that learn their memory verses for they shall get to go to the waffle party with Pastor Justin!"

Impossible...

Imperative---What God commands us to do.
Indicative---What God has already done.

Imperative - Indicative = Impossibility

I can never do what God commands me to do without first understanding and accepting what He has already done for me. The End.

The Story of Jonah...

This little girl has the cutest lisp ever! The link is almost 8 minutes long, but it is SOOOOO cute!!!

30 Things...

I was "tagged" and asked to list 30 interesting and random facts about myself. I was going to ignore it (as usual), but then I wondered how hard it would be to do. So here are 30 useless, random and possibly interesting facts about me...

1. If you ask me who the sexiest man on the planet is I will say Chris and actually mean it.

2. I have never regretted getting married young. It has been a privilege and honor to watch my husband grow from a boy into an incredible Godly man.

3. Chris and I almost separated 4+ years ago. I was blessed with a wonderful friend who was going through similar (but very different) experiences and we spent many hours crying, praying and teaching one another. I now use my own testimony as an example of why we need to keep counseling within the church body.

4. My children's names are Micah Christopher (Micah Roo), Isaac David (Zacky Boo) and Abigail Joanna (Abby Anna). We chose their first names because of their meanings (Micah-One who is like Christ. Isaac-He who laughs. Abigail-Her fathers delight.). Their middle names are family names (Chris, mine and my fathers).

5. If Micah had been a girl he would have been named Elisabeth Leanne. Isaac would have been Elisabeth Madeline. Our boy name for Abby was Josiah Edwin up until 5 minutes before the delivery when I burst into tears and told Chris I really wanted Seth Edwin. Luckily she was girl.

6. Today I made four pans of chicken enchiladas and four pans of brownies, only one of which will be eaten by my own family. I selfishly enjoy blessing people with meals because it is convenient.

7. I have subscriptions to Cosmo, Family Fun and Cooking Light. The only one I read religiously is Cosmo.

8. My husband and I went through a lot of fertility problems the result of which was 10 miscarriages and 3 beautiful children.

9. The hardest part about sending the boys to school this year is just the fact that I miss having them around.

10. The best part about sending my boys to school this year has been watching their teachers blow every misconception anyone has about the public school system out of the water. They are both amazing and have been a HUGE blessing to my boys and I this year.

11. If I tell you I'm praying for you (or something) I am and I will be until I hear its time to praise God for His answer. And if you don't update me I will eventually get around to asking you about it, even if it is months/years from now.

12. I sin. A lot. Which is probably why I read so many books/articles/scripture about God's grace. Because I would have given up on me a long time ago. But God doesn't. Isn't that the most awesome thing you have ever heard?!?!?!

13. I like to cook, but hate baking. Plus, I pretty much stink at it. When we were first married I asked Chris to pick one thing for me to learn to bake and promised to learn how to bake whatever he chose until I had it as close to perfect as possible. I make killer pumpkin pie, which my husband gets every birthday and holiday and whenever I accidentally dent the car.

14. I have struggled with bulimia since I was 14. I spent most of my high school career binging and purging and still struggle daily with obsessive behaviors concerning my weight. While I honestly believe God could heal me from this disease, I also honestly believe that He uses it as a way to keep my reliance fully on Him and Him alone and I am blessed and humbled by the fact that He trusts me with so much.

15. I believe that two of the most powerful words in the Bible are "Jesus wept." because they remind us that when Jesus was fully man He experienced all the emotions we have been blessed with including fear, sorrow and pain. Negative emotions are not sinful; our responses to them are. Which is why after Jesus wept He turned to the Father for comfort and renewal.

16. I prefer most cakes without frosting, but most brownies with.

17. I think Spongebob Squarepants is stupid, but I don't think it makes my kids stupid so I don't really mind that they enjoy it. But I didn't let them watch Teletubbies because I believe that show actually kills braincells.

18. At one point in my life I prayed fervently for a friend. Just one friend. God answered my prayer with Hobbitsister. Through her God taught me how to be a good friend to others and now there are more people I would consider friends in my actual life than on my facebook page. And I still don't think she truly understands how much her friendship has blessed me, nor how often I praise God for His choice in friends.

19. I have learned that true contentment is not desiring LESS, but being happy with exactly where God put me. And I love my five-bedroom house and the lessons God taught me through the entire home buying process.

20. Sometimes I wonder if Christians who spend a good deal of their time complaining about Obama realize how difficult that makes it for me to witness to non-believers who voted for him. While I don't think that we should separate our religion and our politics, I frequently wonder where the respect for authority that God called us to comes in. Also, I wonder what some people will say when they get to heaven and discover that their are democrats there.

21. I didn't vote for Obama, but I also wouldn't vote for Sarah Palin.

22. I heart peanut-butter, but only the chunky kind. Peanut-butter without chunks of peanuts is like orange juice with no pulp--wrong.

23. I really wanted Abby to be a boy, but am so very thankful that God knew better. Abby is exactly what this family needed.

24. I like to jog because it gives me time to think. I go jogging almost every night.

25. I have 2 older sisters, one younger brother, two brother-in-laws, two sister-in-laws, 8 nephews and 2 nieces.

26. My oldest son will be taking the testing for the Extended Learning Program at his school and I'm not sure how I feel about that, however I left the final decision with him since he will be doing the work.

27. I am thankful that my children are quick learners because I struggled so much in school.

28. My biggest pet-peeve is when I tell my children to go play and they whine at me. Its not like I just told them to go pick up dog poop.

29. I sincerely love all of your children and when you tell me stories about them I remember them and share them with others because everyone needs a good laugh now and then.

30. I enjoy reading entertainment and celebrity news online, but don't watch television and get easily bored at movies.

Okay, that was HARD! But it was also kind of interesting to do. If you want to do it, I would love to read it.

Catch Phrase...

My parents are visiting and we all decided to play the game Catch Phrase. (In case you haven't played its a lot like Taboo.) The boys are excellent guessers...

Me: Its what you smoke when you aren't smoking a cigarette.
Z: Drugs!


Me: When people are in jail they are called...
M: Democrats!

(The actual answers were cigar and convicts, just in case you were wondering...)

I Should Have Known...

M: I love lemon heads so much!
Me (teasingly): Then why don't you marry them?
M (totally serious): Because lemon head is a boy.